i miss you

today's title comes from blink-182 and my state of mind. more the latter than the former, but i wanted an excuse to post the song:

so i'm sitting in my basement, relishing the return of fox soccer channel to my life and waiting for today's yesterday's real madrid champion's league match replay to come on since the game was hilarious and i want to rewatch it. it doesn't come on for another hour and is scheduled to end at five, so it's going to be a long night. it's a good thing that college has pretty much cemented my nocturnal state.

you all probably know this, thanks to the wonders of facebook (or, you know, you were there with me), but i went to see harry potter again with jenibean and s-la. it was great. this might change with the final movie, but right now deathly hallows part one is my favorite of all the films - it stayed mostly true to the books, and the few changes are actually for the better. the score was kind of an iffy thing with me. i've loved the music in all of the films, and i stayed with that opinion for most of this one, too. there were a few places where i thought it went a little wrong (the trio's reunion scene and dobby's funeral both come to mind), but when it went right - wow. the ending could not have been better (musically, anyway - it still made me want part two, like, now).

surprisingly, harry potter is not the focus of this post. the title is.

it's funny (or horrible, depending on who you are and how you look at it), but i don't miss most of you/my high school friends very often. when i do miss people, it's usually someone i wasn't that close to. if anything, i miss inanimate objects more than i miss people. my bed and i? yeah, we've never been closer because i'm sleeping my life away and am insanely grateful to come home to a pillow-topped queen size bed which i can flop face down on and sleep for hours, maybe days. maybe it's because i'm so used to being separated from the munchkins - i haven't gone to school with bean in three years, and i've had a grand total of two classes with s-la ever - but when i do think of them, i usually just text or call or facebook or oovoo and move on with my day. so it came as kind of a surprise to realize today that i've actually really missed them. for one thing, it's good to be around someone who hates pants even more than i do. also, it was nice to realize that s-la and i are still fairly good at either saying the same thing or the same time or finishing each other's sentences (and, really, it was just good to be with someone who shares my appreciation of silly grocery store romance novels). i guess it's just good to know that some things don't change.

and now i'm going to go reread harry potter and the deathly hallows. why isn't part two out now?

300! (and one)

apparently my last post was my three hundredth. huh. well, it isn't like posts 100 and 200 were very memorable, either. looking at the two hundredth post makes me laugh, though, because there are still no spartans the video i'm about to post is a lot like the m.i.a. video in it. also, i just blogged about the xx's vcr. it's good to know that my tastes remain fairly constant. anyway, this is arcade fire's video for the suburbs. it's not as good as the one for we used to wait (which is, admittedly, pretty hard to top). i might be a little biased in thinking that, though - i like we used to wait as a song much better.

  

i didn't do much today. we went out for a bit and i played guitar hero, but that's about it. oh, and i finished reading little bee - it was really good. you should all read it, too (if only so i can have someone to talk to about it).

liverpool won today! 3-0 against west ham. it was a relief after that horrible game against stoke city.

the drunk spaniards agree. 

i'm tired, so i'm going to go grab a snack (from my kitchen! where all the food is mine! because i'm home!) and read s-la's story.

also, i still want a kitty. someone get on this.

we're older now, the light is dim

today's title comes from o children by nick cave and the bad seeds as used to wonderful effect in harry potter and the deathly hallows part one.

other than posting that wonderful song, i'm refraining from posting anything about the movie until everyone has seen it. seeing as the urge to babble about it is almost uncontrollable, this is going to be a very short post. instead, watch this video that joanna the hall-e sent me. it is so much better than the original song:

i left campus last night. this morning husband number three and i accompanied the momster to the hospital to get an iron transfusion. it took six hours. six! all went well, though. the momster beat my tap tap score (annoying) and requested cookies, which lead husband number three to pick up gingerbread men. they're yummy. i still have one left. and then we went to see harry potter! again! (the first of many, many times over thanksgiving break, i hope)

leaving campus early had an unforeseen benefit, too. apparently i've missed a total of six fire drills since i left. this is wonderful. 

cause it's cold outside

today's title comes from the crystal castles cover of not in love. it's awesome:

it is cold outside, though. i picked up some mittens and a hat today with the momster. oh and, fuzzy patterned slippers from target. sometimes i think accessories are the best part of winter.

i can't wait until christmas. i'm not one of those people who thinks that you should wait until after thanksgiving to start ye olde christmas countdown. i basically spend the entire year in a state of (barely) suppressed anticipation for the holiday season. i'm sure i've annoyed most of you by singing christmas carols in the middle of the summer. i can't help it - i'm just naturally hardwired to enjoy all things christmassy.

i found out today that i'm not the only person who does this. one of my friends (and her roommate) has already stockpiled her christmas candy for the season. i went over today and was greeted by two whole drawers full of candy canes and chocolate santas. it was pretty amazing. they've got holiday lights and a mini christmas tree and everything up. it got me excited. maybe i'll decorate my dorm room after all, even if we are only on campus for ten days of december. it never hurts to be festive. although i don't think i'll be stringing christmas lights up. i'm pretty sure that's a fire hazard.

i met with my group to watch a movie for our presentation on organ trafficking. we watched this:

it was actually good. the organ trafficking turned out to be a subplot, but the whole movie was really interesting. the dvd kept skipping, though. we put some toothpaste on it, but it was still pretty messed up. stupid netflix.

extremely loud and incredibly close is just as good on a reread. if you haven't already, go read it. it's wonderful. jonathan safran foer's prose is something i want to curl up in. the way he uses multimedia in the book is really cool, too. it's got drawings and lists and ends with a flipbook. what's not to love?

for some reason, my chaucer class started talking about walt whitman today. it inspired me to hunt down a copy of song of myself at the library. i'm rereading it slowly, since i have homework and papers and other books to read, but here's one of my new favorite bits from the beginning:

These are really the thoughts of all men in all ages and lands, they 
are not original with me, 
If they are not yours as much as mine they are nothing, or next to nothing, 
If they are not the riddle and the untying of the riddle they are nothing, 
If they are not just as close as they are distant they are nothing. 

This is the grass that grows wherever the land is and the water is, 
This the common air that bathes the globe. 

i should probably go to sleep now. i'm starting to think that studying for finals is going to turn out more stressful than the finals themselves. we'll see, i guess.

louder than ever

today's title comes from the song of the same name by cold war kids.

this week's itunes free music downloads were a mixed bag. i'm a big fan of the spanish song of the week

but they're also offering what looks like a free copy of blue suede shoes. beware, though. beware. it's this horrible, remixed thing. who would remix elvis?

sometimes i feel like two different people. hermit rachel and college rachel don't even seem to belong to the same species, let alone the same person. that's how bad it is - i'm referring to myself in the third person. how obnoxious is that?

i can't explain it properly, but i feel like i should try since this blog really has come to replace my diary lately. well, this blog and my ical. everything seems to be in there. see?

back to me being whiny and self indulgent...

i don't like change. at all. and it keeps coming home to me that who we are now isn't who we've been (isn't who we'll be). all of the plans i had for myself are slowly unraveling and being replaced by new ones. the new plans aren't necessarily bad. but...they're different. i actually considered becoming a pre-med major. me! to be fair, biology and stats are actually my highest grades right now (who would've thought that'd happen?) and i was being unfairly influenced by one-too-many "save the children!" documentaries in my global issues class.

still. it's change. changes everywhere. leaves and classes and people. oh, people. oldest and dearest friends of mine, why must you keep changing on me? some of you have been throwing me for a loop lately. i think i might be doing the same thing to some of you.

where i see myself in ten years is changing, too. i never realized this before, but (soccer ogling aside), i'm a little terrified of actual relationships. blame the momster and husband number one (and their various, numbered spouses) for that, i guess. i don't know. the thought of getting married before i'm, like, forty is vaguely horrifying to me. i want...the world, i guess. to see everything and do everything and date a couple dozen people just in case (who knows - the multiple marriage thing could be genetic) and just...be. i want to die knowing i've experienced life.

i want to die with the ability to stop going on quasi-philosophical rants in the middle of the night. 


i feel so unsettled, mentally. if i was home right now, this would be the time i did something reckless. started one of those mini-adventures that usually leads to one (or all) of you commenting with some variation of "oh, rachel" or "not again" or "you crazy bitch". which...fair enough, i suppose. the hall-es here seem dedicated to keeping me in line, though, since i've already been told to wrap this up and go to bed, to finish my paper tomorrow (but not put it off later than that), and to stop eating fun dip at 1:45 in the morning. i can't help it. i like it when my tongue is blue.

also, i lied. i totally lied. i know exactly what brought this post on. someone i was friends with in elementary school got engaged. engaged. and pregnant, which - go figure. but but but. we used to share wonderballs and those weird little cookies that you dunked in frosting at recess. how is this even possible? i might be panicking slightly. also, how does one even go about responding to that wedding invitation? is there a polite way to say "no, thank you, i prefer not to freak myself out any further watching you and your idiot groom who's even uglier than he was back in the day get hitched next weekend"? i didn't think so. 


i'm done being crazed and rambly for the night. the momster is coming for our weekly mother-daughter bonding session tomorrow, so i'll probably rant to her, too. and isn't it strange how i actually look forward to that now? i used to hate it. now it's like one of the only normal things left in my life. also, starbucks better name a drink after me by the time i graduate. i swear, there are days where i think my family keeps them in business. well, the northern virginia and frederick ones, at least.

random story of the day: in my chaucer class (filled almost entirely with english majors as it's a 395), neither my professor nor any of my classmates could remember what galileo was famous for. one person suggested that it was for discovering that the earth was round. another said he did "something wonky" with gravity (tangentially, isn't wonky a fun word? i think i'll start using it). at long last, one of the lone science people (bio major, to be specific) finally set everyone straight. this is the same class full of people who got into an in-depth discussion on robespierre, dante, and ezra pound. oh, english majors. i love you all.

Bonjour, bonne nuit, au revoir, salut

today's title comes from this song by stereo total. yes, it's french and about death. listen anyway - all of their music is ridiculously catchy and fun to sing along to and the only reason i didn't epically fail every french speaking exam i've ever taken.

today i went downtown with michelle and some of the other hall-es. we stopped by a dance store to pick up leg warmers and a tutu for my kitty costume. no, this was not planned. but halloween is supposed to be cold and they just looked so cute. besides, as it stood, my costume was one very tiny leotard, a tail, and cat ears and i don't really feel like subscribing to the regina george school of halloween costumes this year. while i was there, we chatted with the girl who works at the store and somehow or the other i found myself signing up for dance classes, starting next semester. i'm learning how to salsa! also, i'm taking ballet again for the first time in five years - wish me luck. i'm not even sure why. but...i'm in college. if i don't try new things (or retry old things) now, when will i, right?

on the way back, the school's alert system sent about a thousand text messages (read as: three) warning about a possible warning and telling us to take cover. the word immediately was spelled wrong. it took away a lot of the message's credibility. naturally thinking the whole thing was a joke, we took our sweet time strolling back to campus. michelle and i stopped to get frozen mochas. stella found a dollar on the sidewalk.

so, of course we return to our dorm to hear sirens and the pa system telling everyone to get inside the building in case of high winds.

we finally start panicking and run into the basement (which was horribly hot since it's where all the washers and dryers are) and stay there for a good ten minutes before we find out that the whole thing was a precaution and nothing was happening after all. because this is my life and nothing ever goes right.

in happier news, i've finally listened to taytay's new album...fifteen times. okay, that's not as excessive as it sounds. i usually listen to new albums that often just to get a feel for them. some songs need time to grow. other songs, like this one, will never, ever be okay:

yes, for some unknown reason this song was playing during bingo today. i feel unclean just from listening to it. why does this even exist?

anyway, as for tay tay:

it's a little easier to talk about what i didn't like: the story of us and innocent. the story of us just seemed silly and throw back-ish. basically, a little too much like her last album. actually, both of them did, except innocent doesn't even have the saving grace of being catchy and poppy and fun. it's just...bland. everything else is pretty awesome, though. romeo, juliet, and the scarlet letter are all spared a second appearance - thank god. better than revenge, long live, sparks fly, and never grow up are my favorites right now. never grow up is probably the only one that's going to end up being played consistently over the next few months, though. much as i thought speak now was an improvement over last year's crop of taylor-swift-earworms-on-the-radio, i've got way too much (better) new music to listen to. like the glee rocky horror soundtrack, have you watched it yet?

and since i finally worked out exactly what classes i want to take next semester (and french is definitely on the list...as is spanish, strangely enough, so expect lots of pleas for help if you speak it), i thought i'd close this off with something french - a poem, actually, and one of the few french ones i know.

Et peut-être que tout était écrit dans le livre
mais le livre s’est perdu

ou quelqu’un l’a jeté dans les ronces
sans le lire

n’importe ce qui fut écrit
demeure, même

obscur, un autre qui n’a pas vécu
tout cela

et sans connaître la langue du livre, comprendra
chaque mot

et quand il aura lu, quelque chose
de nous se lèvera

un souffle, une sorte de sourire entre les pierres. 

claude esteban 

it was hot and it was summer

today's title comes from better than revenge by taylor swift. underwhelmed as i was by her last album, i'm pretty in love with this one. it's pretty amazing - and she's actually doing all her own writing. i'd post it, but it isn't on youtube yet, so listen to this instead:

i forgot to mention this album in yesterday's music post, which is strange since it's all i've been listening to at night:

it's wonderful. like rock n' roll and radio and new york city's killing me are my favorites right now, but the whole thing is great. it's a little softer than gossip in the grain, but still good.

we read this in class today, and i really liked it. also, it's been a while since i posted any poetry:

Coming by evening through the wintry city

We said that art is out of love with life.

Here we approach a love that is not pity.

This antique discipline, tenderly severe,

Renews belief in love yet masters feeling,

Asking of us a grace in what we bear.

Form is the ultimate gift that love can offer -

The vital union of necessity

With all that we desire, all that we suffer.

A too-compassionate art is half an art.

Only such proud restraining purity

Restores the else-betrayed, too-human heart.

- Adrienne Rich 

i was too depressed to blog about it at the time, but on sunday i got one of the hall-es to give my bangs an emergency trim (since they were approaching IT LOOKS LIKE YOU DON'T HAVE EYES levels of growth) and michelle (the usual trimmer) was at home. sadly, the trim turned into a massacre. my poor hair has been maimed. it's a good two inches shorter than it's supposed to be. i've been assured that it'll grow back in two weeks or so, but until then...well, i wore a hat in 78 degree weather today. and i asked the momster to drop of all my scarves and her trench coat, so i've been swanning around wearing headscarves and sunglasses and her trench coat and doing my best imitation of a fifties film star, as outlined in the plan i proposed to s-la, meggo, and jeni on oovoo sunday night.

we're doing laundry now. or, we're waiting for our laundry to finish drying so we can get to the horrible task of folding it. one of the dryers broke, like, ten minutes into us using it - which is ridiculous since they're brand new bought-in-august-you-must-buy-the-super-expensive-high-efficiency-detergent-or-else machines. but while we were loading up the other dryers with our clothes we heard a bang and then a series of thumping noises coming from it. upon investigation, one of the curvy plastic things inside it broke off and was rattling around with our clothes, so we moved them into another dryer. i pulled the liverpool jersey out, though. i decided it was an omen against drying it. fernando torres in jersey form is now drying on a hanger in front of joanna's fan.

never mind, our clothes are apparently done. au revoir.

a newly orphaned refugee

today's title should come from a very familiar source - four winds by bright eyes. it came up on shuffle late last night and once i heard it again, i couldn't stop listening. so you can listen to it again, too:

and here's the killers version, too:

this is basically a music post, since i've got another rachel post in the works. so here's what i've been listening to lately:

hands down, my favorite thing to listen to in october. it's kind of like my ultimate halloween song. well, besides this:

and here's some of the new stuff i've been listening to. it's been a while since i've posted, so a lot of this isn't new (and some of it was only ever new to me):

one of my favorites. stand out tracks? bang bang bang and the bicycle song. it's just a really fun, dance-y album.

in a word: disappointing. i don't care how much crap they spout off in interviews about "returning to [their] roots". um, this crap isn't their "roots"- it's them trying to capitalize on their sex on fire/use somebody success with a bad album that all their sheep new fans are going to buy without listening to. i'll stick to this, thank you very much:

my new workout album. it's so much fun to listen to. my favorites right now are: gordita, rabiosa, and her cover of islands by the xx. 

and just for kicks (and because i love it), here's the original:

and a couple of random songs:

we all know how i feel about covers. some of you might remember when odd blood by yeasayer came out earlier this year, and how crazy about this song and mondegreen and ambling alp and every other song by them ever i was. this is almost as good. 

i unashamedly love this cover. it's not that different from the original, but between the lack of useless synths and the changed lyrics it just feels better. 

excited as i am for the new taylor swift album (i'm listening to it right now, actually) in my head, kanye > taytay any day of the week. he can even redeem justin bieber. 

with no shadows on your doubts

today's title comes from devil in the details by the ambience affair. it's amazing. i got it off of this month's indie/rock playlist and am completely in love with it. so, naturally i went a-looking for the rest of their songs and found them to be equally amazing. also, their lead singer personally answered a lyrical question on yahoo answers, which i find pretty endearing. anyway, i'll just post the song so you can become obsessed with them, too.

and, yes, part of the reason i'm posting the music video is because i think it's incredibly cool that they didn't use a video camera to make it. whatever - i'm easily amused, okay?

since s-la has already blogged about it, i'm not going to bother recapping our fun-filled, backyard hair-dyeing adventures with jenibean and meggo. instead, i'll talk about glee.

i know what you're thinking: "not this again." but hear me out - tonight was the lady gaga episode. gaga. and it made fun of twilight. repeatedly. all while promoting a message of tolerance, family togetherness, and the importance of hot outfits. what's not to love? i can't wait until next week's episode. the previews made it look insane.

speaking of things that are insane, the momster has been gone for the last few days. she's in las vegas at a business conference, leaving me all alone for days. five of them, to be specific, since she comes back late tomorrow night and left on sunday. i'm still bitter that i didn't get to go with her, but leaving school for a week when we only have, like, two weeks of classes left seemed like a bad idea.

now, we all know that i'm not the most...practical of people. i'm not all that great with the whole self-sufficiency thing. never fear, though - i made myself checklists of things i need to do so i don't die or get kidnapped or starve or something. also, the momster and several of our nosy neighbors have been calling constantly. as you can imagine, that got annoying pretty quickly, so i've stopped answering the phone. they'll get over it.

i've been loving having the house to myself. it's been nice having everything so quiet. i think it's a sign of how nerdy/lame i am that the craziest thing i've done in my four days of alone-time is reenact the risky business pants off dance off around my house. for those of you who don't know what i'm talking about, here's the clip:

okay, so i lied. i couldn't help it. risky business had tom cruise in it, and there's no way i'm putting him and his crazy scientologist face up on my blog. it's not even a real word, let alone a religion; safari keeps putting a little red line under scientologist. besides, i love scrubs.

oh, and in musical news, christina aguilera's album leaked. i might be jumping the gun a little here, but based on my first few listens, it's pretty awful. at its best, it's a lady gaga rip off. at its worst it turns into a watered down version of britney spears' worst songs. no wonder she cancelled her tour. how did she spend four years working on this? back to basics was so good. even her greatest hits album had amazing remixes on it. it's like she regressed...into jessica simpson.

and in linky news, if espn covered sports like this i might actually watch it. or at least know what channel number espn is.

other than that, my week has been pretty boring. mostly all i've been doing is playing card games and apples to apples in class, wandering around the school getting up to shenanigans that i'll tell you about after graduation (if i remember, which is doubtful), and actually learning new things in physics. like i said: boring.

and now i'm going to do more boring things: feeding, watering, and walking my dogs. they're like plants but cuter.

"I mean a girl just can't go to Sing Sing with a green face."

today's title comes from breakfast at tiffany's, both the movie and the novella. it's been my obsession of the day. i promised myself i wouldn't read any of the books i got on friday until after AP exams were over, but...

yeah, i couldn't hold out. and breakfast at tiffany's technically isn't a book - it's a novella. so i've read it three times now. it's that good.

like, i've always loved the movie but i always thought that most of holly's charm was due to her being played by audrey hepburn. she could make anything seem glamorous. so i figured that i was watching the movie and enjoying holly's character more because i'd already seen (and enjoyed) audrey in other movies.

the other movie. with bonus atticus finch gregory peck.

since i've read the novel(la), though, i've kind of had to revise my thinking a little. i always knew that truman capote's story would be darker than the film since...he's truman capote. i've read in cold blood and the flower house and a few of his other short stories and i know that he's a lot grittier than the happy ending/hot male lead hollywood adaptation. so i was prepared for that aspect of the story, at least.

i didn't expect it to be so interesting, though. like, the story is darker and holly golightly is disturbed and flighty and complex and fascinating. so, so fascinating. i don't want to spoil anything for you (because you're all going to read it, okay? every last one of you. it's short, so no complaining). and then you'll watch the movie, because who could resist this?

i know, i know. anyway, i'm sure you'll all be pleased to hear that ophelia the ipod is healthy and has all her songs back. it took three hours, but it was worth it.

glee is on now, so i'm going to leave off here. sue sylvester is so awesome.

it's all for the rain

today's title: film noir by the gaslight anthem.

so. today i read a book that made me profoundly grateful for the momster, assorted other friends and family, and the fact that i'm not a rape victim suffering from multiple personality disorder. predictably, the book came from s-la. thanks a lot, s.

just kidding. well not about the first part. the book was pretty amazing, though. it's called switching time and it's a psychologist's story of meeting and treating a woman with 17 alternate personalities caused by a lifetime of...well, the kind of abuse that would make a good lifetime movie, actually. if you're squeamish, so i'd recommend skipping the prologue, but it's still a great read.

speaking of great reads (see that? wasn't that clever? no? oh well. i tried), banana reminded me of a lovely little band called the inklings. these are the inklings. and, yes, that is a link to wikipedia. why? because of the lovely typos included on the page (i really hope they aren't edited out before i post this). my favorite is probably the cleveland high school named after the inklings which likes to "discus" theology and fantasy. i suppose the ancient olympics reenactment club is highly disappointed in them.

which brings me to a new topic which means you'll just have to steal religion is a buffet from me since i really want to know what you think about it oh banana-souled one or, rather, two very old ones presented in a new (for me) way:

books. and makeupclothesshoespopmusic (the triad of evil, if you will).

the older i get the more apparent it becomes that people don't expect girls to be capable of liking both of those things. it's like people assume that if you (and by 'you' i mean me) have, hypothetically, read lord of the rings, the hobbit, all of the histories of middle earth companion books, the silmarillion, and various other novels generally considered the rightful property of The Nerds Who Shall Inherit the Earth, Blessed Be The Names of Tolkien and JKR over a dozen times that you should be completely hideous. and if you talk about things like eyeshadow and floral patterns and debate the relative merits of buying the new ke$ha album and getting a free bonus track over getting new gladiator sandals, you must be mentally deficient. or at least too slow to notice the looks that ugly-not-that-that-should-matter-but-it-does-because-i'm-feeling-petty-okay they are trading behind your back while you chat on the phone in line at starbucks.

and, not to sound shallow or anything, but if you are (i'm estimating since i don't know or go to school with the seriously hideous people, but as a high school student i feel like my estimate should be fairly accurate) a high school junior (in your mid- to late-teens, at least) and you and your friend are wandering around in public in sketchers, too-short jeans, and hot topic t-shirts, you have no room to judge anyone. ever.

i guess i'm just sick of people trying to pigeonhole me. there is a reason i have approximately 300,000 labels on this blog and that's because - you probably couldn't have guessed this - i'm a big fan of variety.

i will happily admit to being a nerd. so will all 4,000 books living in my basement (they're such mooches, i swear. they don't even pay rent). i have a designated stack of kitchen books so i can read something while i eat. i google music reviews and dead poets and medieval european history (it's interesting, okay? they were inventive back then) in my spare time. of course i also play tap tap revolution and look at pretty pictures on flickr and read horrible 'young adult' books and experiment with eyeshadow the rest of the time. balance. i hear it's important.

i get that we all judge people. a lot. some of us (me) more than others. but there's a difference between being judgmental and ignorant. the former involves drawing logical conclusions based on a person's actions, demeanor, and appearance and going "gee, they look cool" or "ew. who let the troll out?" (there is a third option, reserved for those members of society who fall under the heading of Cute Boys, but it would have to be typed almost entirely in asterisks, so i thought i'd refrain from posting it). the latter? well, ignorance is mostly being judgmental but without the "logical" part. like ralph nader. or tyra.

and, okay, it's entirely true possible that i'm kind of a bitch. at least i'm not the kind of person who automatically assumes (and we all know what you make with that word) that someone's dumb for liking makeup - because if this is the kind of behavior we're encouraging in the "twilight generation" (i read an article in time a few weeks ago that actually called us that, lord help us all), well:

yeah. listen to katie fucking fitch. she's epic. and from skins, in case you didn't know.

anyway, let's comfort ourselves with music. it's kind of a random selection today. ranging from my initial wave of irritation to something off my car ride playlist for the ride home to the song i was dancing around the house and treadmilling to:

but the clothes i wore just don't fit my soul anymore

today's title comes from the gaslight anthem's new album. i'd share it with you, but it hasn't been released yet so i can't find a decent version on youtube yet. there's actually a lot of songs i've been saving up to blog about, but - well, let's just say i have a love/hate relationship with leaks, okay?

the love.

and the hate.

random tangent: i'm watching the colbert report right now and wow is damon from the gorillaz hot. now i'm glad i really liked plastic beach. oh, and his accent's great, too. it reminds me of cook from skins. also, he's not a record company-produced robot. we love him, right? yeah, i thought so.

so, in the spirit of my dwindling enthusiasm for education, let's do a little quiz, okay? for eleventy bajillion points, answer the following:

1. Who skipped school today?

a. Rachel

b. Rachel

c. Ra- Give it up, already, we all know it's you and why would you miss another day of school when the only real classes you had were econ (easy) and gov (laughable)?

d. Lady Gaga

2. Why did I skip school?

a. You're a lazy brat. 

b. You listened to too much Lady Gaga and started swanning around the house in a Kermit the Frog outfit screaming, "I'm a free bitch, baby!"

c. You were forced to by The Momster.

d. Someone offered you crack, but you could only pick it up at 11 a.m. in a shady alleyway in D.C.

3. Why did The Momster make you skip school?

a. She decided to schedule her annual psychotic break for April this year.

b. She needed a partner for a Beegees-themed 70s disco dance-off. 

c. She got fed up with your college-related indecision and made you visit UVA (which you already rejected) and UMW in one day. 

d. She decided to trade you for drugs and/or real estate deals. 

you know how people always tell you to pick C if you get stuck on a test? well, i hope you picked C because that was the answer to all three oh-so-difficult questions.

basically, as of 8 a.m. this morning, i still hadn't made a definitive college decision. like 99% of me was all for going to UMW and keeping the dent in my strictly-limited-to-60k-we-can't-give-you-everything-rachel-be-grateful-already college fund pretty small but that pesky 1%? well, that 1% was sitting there going "but you like william and mary", "there's a banana at william and mary", "you stayed up all night and occasionally studied things for four years so you could get into william and mary".

yeah, i know. that 1% - she's a troublemaker.

after explaining this to the momster, her genius solution was to road trip to UVA and UMW - i still don't understand why UVA was included, maybe to serve as a see-you-already-made-one-decision-now-do-it-again example? idk, i'm just bitter she refused to drive to william & mary since banana and gina were both there today, but i guess it wouldn't have made much sense since i've seen that campus like four times now - and then make me choose. and the UMW campus is pretty. so it wasn't that hard of a choice after all. but then the momster decided that she couldn't take the risk of me changing my mind in the next week, so she made the deposit directly to the admissions office and paid for housing.

to sum all that up, the momster is the kind of cray cray that makes lady gaga look sane and i'm officially enrolled in college.

anyway, during the twelve hours i was in the car today, i spent a lot of time staring out the window in sulky-yet-alliterative silence listening to my ipod. after listening to my newest songs a few times, i ended up switch to the 100! playlist and listening to it on loop, because as much as i love new music - well, the top 100 songs made it there for a reason, right?

anyway, it got me wondering - what do all of you listen to? i know that most of us don't listen to the same music, so i really want to know what's in your top 25. or if you're too lazy to comment with that, then what are your top 5 most played songs, at least?

the place where your soul had died

today's title? bixby canyon bridge by death cab for cutie. yes, that death cab for cutie. wait? that's just a picture of ben gibbard and zooey deschanel? oh well. they're both ah-dorable and ah-mazing and incredibly talented. oh, and we love their music. mona would like you all to know that she is amazingly cool. in case the mona-mention hadn't tipped you off, i'm writing this post from the library.

i know, i know. marvel at my dedication. or don't, since i didn't blog at all over the weekend. here, i'll make it up to you:

Stars wheel in purple, yours is not so rare
as Hesperus, nor yet so great a star
as bright Aldeboran or Sirius,
nor yet the stained and brilliant one of War;

stars turn in purple, glorious to the sight;
yours is not gracious as the Pleiads are
nor as Orion's sapphires, luminous;

yet disenchanted, cold, imperious face,
when all the others blighted, reel and fall,
your star, steel-set, keeps lone and frigid tryst
to freighted ships, baffled in wind and blast.

isn't that a pretty poem? it's by h. d., aka hilda doolittle. she was pretty awesome. i'd go on a bit more about poetry, but mona's currently describing the homemade sponge cake she's bringing to school tomorrow, so i'm mostly just salivating over that. i'm serious - hearing her descriptions of dessert has reduced me to a drooling, gibbering wreck of a person who has no other purpose in life beyond the googling of chocolate-filled images. see? proof:

...hypothetically speaking, the prospect of future desserts might intensify my natural tendency to hyperbolize. might.

true story: i just tried to type "might" as "mgmt". freudian slip much? in other words, i've had mgmt's new album on my brain. it's so different from oracular spectacular that when i first heard it i was kind of like:

but then it started to grow on me. it's strange - i initially hated every song in my 100! playlist (in case it wasn't obvious, that's the smart playlist that houses my 100 top-played songs), while the songs i find most earwormy and hummable are among my least favorites. like this weekend - during our lovely friday off, i went to dsw to hang with jenibean and was exposed to her strange collection of car music for the second time. among them was a song whose lyrics seemed to be nothing but the phrase "she's a sexy chick" and three or four songs which sounded exactly like and whose subject matter dealed with "rumpy pumpy" as my lit teacher calls it. the only saving grace to any of them was that they had pretty awesome beats and bad mixing so you could never really tell what the singer was saying. in other words, they were all the perfect earworms. do you think i'm going to be sullying ophelia the ipod with any of those songs?

if you answered anything other than "no" to that question, i will refer you to the following gif. in this scenario, pretend that ophelia the ipod is jim and Crappy Music is dwight. now watch:

there, does that clear things up for you? i thought it'd help. the office can explain anything. so can family guy, actually.

wow, early release is almost over. i've got to go to buzzer club in, like, ten minutes, so i'm going to wrap this up. oh, and in case you didn't notice, i copied gina's idea and added a currently reading tab over on the right side of the page.

i'm on top of the world, i can see it all around me

today's title comes from hills and valleys by the rocket summer, also known as the reason i didn't blog yesterday.

well, actually, that wasn't completely true. this is the reason i didn't blog yesterday:

i spent yesterday running errands for the momster (did you know that cookie is officially an Old Dog? he can't learn new tricks anymore. but he never learned any tricks to begin with, so does that mean he'll finally start learning tricks?) and struggling through heart of darkness for a second time (this time with audiobook accompaniment). so naturally i rewarded myself at the end of the day by catching up on (and hunting down) new music. let's just take a moment to appreciate this lovely sight, since my iTunes library has been looking a little bare of late:

conclusions reached? jimi hendrix is awesome even when he's dead. the gorillaz are awesome and alive. laura marling isn't exciting enough to be awesome but she's got a pretty voice and prettier songs. the sandinista project is a free compilation of the clash cover songs - in other words, it would've been the best thing on this list (since i had to pay for valleys of neptune) but mgmt was nice enough to release two new songs this week. i'm so excited for their new album that it's beginning to get embarrassing. i even replaced all my ringtones with kids, time to pretend, and electric feel. that's a whole lot of excitement.

oh, and to make up for starting off on music for the hundredth time in a row (also, did anyone else just find out that hundredth has a d in it? just me? well then. thanks for catching my mistake Angry Little Red Line on Safari), here's something for you s-la:

although i really don't know why i'm rewarding you when your demonic blog playlist nearly shattered my eardrum today. there i was, innocently listening to my happy new music and trying to see your prom dress and then - wham. bam. kapow. insert other comic book onomatopoeias here. how do you live with yourself? it was horrible. i had to go soothe my shattered eardrums with mumford and sons' cover of cousins (by some band called vampy saturdays or non-twilight vampires on weekends or something like that) and brownies. i hope you're happy with yourself.

was it love or fear of the cold that led us through the night?

today's title comes from mumford and sons, specifically, this song:

it's not my favorite song of theirs, though. actually, i'm not really sure i have a favorite. it could be this one:

or this one:

but this one is mark hoppus's favorite, so i guess i'll post it, too:

in case you couldn't tell, you're meant to listen to all of these. why else would i go to the trouble of posting all these videos?

i just got back from dinner and starbucks with the momster. i don't know if i've mentioned this already, but the illustrious momster has some odd taste in drinks. her two most common orders at starbucks are a "grande double shot caramel machiatto with no whipped cream, extra foam and no caramel on top" and a "caramel apple spice latte with no caramel". occasionally she likes to change things up a little and get something even more ridiculous sounding. today it was something like a triple shot bold blend latte. i accidentally grabbed her order instead of my own (a relatively tame double shot peppermint mocha) and pulled this face:

it was like drinking petroleum. i had to chug my piping hot drink just to get the taste out of my mouth. seriously, that much espresso is just unhealthy (except after an all nighter - then it's a vital component of staying awake). actually, i ended up with a venti triple shot mocha the morning of the SAT way back in - geez, sophomore year. two whole years ago. wow, i feel old. i'm mostly mentioning this as advice to gina, who's taking that oh-so-wonderful test tomorrow.

you know, it's strange. the juniors in my yearbook class are starting to brainstorm ideas for next year's yearbook theme. cory (the last third of gina's and my amazing design team) already came up with one, actually. it's a pretty good idea, but i was listening to her talk about it today and mostly going, "wow, how are you okay with coming back for another year? i'm so ready to be gone."

because i am. ready to graduate, i mean. you should all know by now that senioritis has hit me hard. i mostly just vegetate in class now except for calc because then driskill would sneak up and kill me and i really, honestly don't see the point of 99.9% of the activities we do (do an egg drop project, you say? take an open note quiz? define the same stupid seven terms on every vocabulary list this quarter. ha, i don't even think the teachers care anymore). it's just strange to take a break from wanting to move on and think, "look how long it's been." nostalgia, it's a fun word. the last four (really, six if you have a paranoid/ocd brain like mine which began chanting 'you've gotta get into a good college' the moment it entered middle school) years have been defined by a set of specific goals and challenges and plans and deadlines and they've all passed, for better or worse. sure, there's a few left - scholarships and prom and beach week and that one last field day - but for all intents and purposes school's already over.

pretty strange, huh?

anyway, this post has gotten too emo, so here's two tiny things to make you laugh. (and if you were wondering, i'm blogging from my phone and posting gifs is easier than pictures on the app i'm using since all i have to do is copy and paste a link to my photobucket instead of actually uploading a picture):

hold us at the center while the spiral unwinds

guess what? today's title was stolen from bright eyes' four winds. i know, i know - you're shocked. i love this song so much. almost as much as i love florence + the machine.

florence + the machine is and isn't a new love. i got kiss with a fist from the jennifer's body soundtrack (dear itunes, i hate you for making new perspective an album-only purchase even if the rest of the soundtrack was good) and liked it. so then i hunted down the rest of her album and liked it enough to listen to it a few times, but it never really reached earworm status with me. of course, due to the snow week i've had nearly unlimited music-listening time, so i started listening to it again and realized how amazing it is.

i wonder why that happens? i almost never like something the first time i'm exposed to it. the first time i heard kings of leon i made a face and paused the album to put the strokes back on; cobra starship had me reaching for my midtown cds before half a song had finished; even four winds, the song i've been relentlessly plugging for most of the last week, gained a 'meh' reaction the first time i heard it.

there's probably a moral in that last paragraph, lurking in the gaps between sentences. don't judge a song by its album art, or something along those lines. i don't know, it was just a stray thought that crossed my mind. we all know that this blog is more stream of consciousness than anything else.

i've been making good use of my free time this week. i'm currently watching gilmore girls, which is always enough to bring on a minor fit of nostalgia - how is it already rerunning on abc family? not to be completely cliche, but it seems like just yesterday that i was hurrying to finish my homework in time to sit on the couch and watch the latest in the rory-jess-dean-marty-logan saga.

well, no, that was a lie. the boys were pretty and rory was wonderful but everyone should have watched the show for all of the minor characters. especially paris. because she was awesome.

surprisingly that little tangent had an actual point. see, i finally got around to watching the latest episode of bones only like five days late and wow. i hadn't thought there was a show on the air that could beat gilmore girls' nostalgia factor and then bones gave me david boreanaz genuflecting and talking about demons.

i will admit that, at first, my reaction went a little like this, since said buffy the vampire slayer/angel flashbacks were 'brought to you by The Most Ridiculous Plot Since Twilight':

but then i took the time to reflect and recall that, even though the plot was a little silly, it was angel david boreanaz. recalling his good ole badass vampire days/demon hunting. sort of. and then my face was more like this:

because it's angel/seeley booth/david boreanaz on my television and i miss the buffy-verse so much. i don't even care that it takes one of the most ridiculous plots in five seasons of bones to bring back a flash of that. it was perfect. i am just barely resisting the urge to dig out seasons two and three of buffy to rewatch. barely. 

i will probably be giving into this urge in the near future, especially since it's still snowing and isn't supposed to stop for a 'good long time' according to abc news. 

(and yes, i can overuse italics if i want to. i am having a flashback to my thirteen year old self and she was quite, quite fond of the 'slanty-word-effect')

munching on tacos right now. it was fun to actually leave the house. less fun? coming home to see snow already falling. oh well. 

okay, gilmore girls is no longer on but i didn't get to live-blog through the end because i was busy bawling a like a little baby. lorelai's letter about luke. and christopher's reaction. and luke's face. the whole ending of this episode just kills me. obviously. 

here, even though this is a stream-of-consciousness post (can we even call this a post? it was like an uninterrupted stream-of-fangirling instead), i'll try and give this some closure. i've liked a lot of things since i was a kid. i've latched onto fads and trends and scenes, then one day got the idea (at the same time as everyone else did) that i was going to be an 'individual' and only like things that no one else did. it's taken me a long a time to admit to liking the things that i do, not because they're cool or popular - because god knows most of them aren't - but because i think they're amazing. because they inspire me. and because i want them to inspire you, too. 

maybe that's why it took me so many tries to like the things i mentioned earlier in this post. sometimes you're so busy trying to be someone else that you miss being able to discover new things. you think, 'gee, that's niceboringsimpleaverage' and move on to whatever someone else has told you is cool. 

and maybe growing up means admitting that you'll never really grow up at all. 

on that note, i'm going to leave you with my favorite picture of the day. thank god for the internet.