you are all going to hate me in the morning

when you get around to checking blogger and see approximately three thousand posts from me? yeah, i'm guessing you'll be unamused.

i'm conscious of time passing like i have never been before. right now (not now, as in the present, as in this moment where i'm sitting at my desk and my hair is dripping all over my keyboard and my roommate is talking in her sleep behind me, but this year, i guess. maybe this time in my life. maybe this time in all of our lives) i feel a little bit like it's now or never. like i only have so many chances to make it in the world and then that's it. sometimes i feel like all of those chances are either slipping away from me or never existed in the first place. sometimes i wonder what "making it" even is.

i know, i know. i should stop posting in the middle of the night. when we're all old and gray and boring, at least we'll be able to scroll through these blogs from the prehistoric internet and laugh. i'm beginning to wonder if i will ever become sensible. i thought it would have happened by now. yes, i know it was a bit silly to think that turning 18 would magically turn me into someone calm and rational and self-assured who can actually cook and knows things like how to use an oven or iron or wash a dog or budget, god help me i am doomed unless everyone i know tries to keep me in line when i grow up, but that didn't stop me from hoping.

and i don't care how many "points" you think you have, i wish people would stop comparing me to emma. i am not a jane austen character, okay? 

i whip my hair back and forth

today's title comes from...seriously? do you really not know where today's title comes from? oh, fine:

the hall-es decided to start singing this randomly during today's oovoo session. now joanna the hall-e keeps singing it whenever we least expect it.

circle k had it's annual thanksgiving dinner today. it was fun. we spent a lot of time setting it up, but it was worth it for the turnout. apparently we got over sixty people (crammed into one very tiny dining room). britney and i went to go pick up the food from the caterer - bad idea. we're not exactly the largest (or muscliest) people. oh, and all the dishes were really hot and we kept forgetting to use the oven mitts when we were putting everything in the car. the drive itself was really fun. britney managed to reignite my billy idol love. i've had white wedding stuck in my head all day. but then came taking everything out of the car. we dropped a pie while attempting to open the door. half of it ended up on the floor and the other half was very smooshed but still in the box...so we did the right thing and sat down on the floor and at the other half. our impromptu munch fest was interrupted by the other board members coming to the door to see what was taking us so long. they thought we were hilarious. i still think that not letting an extremely tasty pie go to waste was a very sensible decision.

husband number three offered me his old down-filled duvet for my dorm room since i get cold easily. the momster dropped it off today. it's wonderful and soft and very, very warm...and queen-sized. which means that my poor bed is completely dwarfed by it. i recruited the hall-es to help me put the (much cuter) new cover on it and the cover was so large that michelle the hall-e crawled inside it to the far end to pull the duvet in after her - it made the covering process a lot easier. also, apparently the inside of my duvet cover is just like being in a tent. at least now we know what to do if we ever get bored - duvet cover tent/pillow fort playtime!

we eventually figured out that i could just fold the duvet in half. so now my bed is extra fluffy! it's a good thing, too. my roommates and i sleep way too much - the hall agrees. someone's always sleeping in or coming back from an early class to nap or napping before going out or going to bed early. our lights are, like, never on. at least being a room of fellow hibernators means that everyone's always very courteous of each other's sleeping time. these things are important, okay? and, yes, i realize everyone in the entire world has already seen this. i don't care, watch anyway:

i found this on youtube. i'm kind of in love with this kid's covers. i can't help it - cover songs are like catnip to me.

!!!

why, yes, i do already have a post with this title. i don't care. why? because ophelia lives!

that's right - after spending three days constantly attempting to restore it, badgering my friends, roommates, and hall-es to help me, calling the parental units no less than three times in the middle of the night out of despair, and frantically googling every possible cause and solution for her affliction (i even tried doing this hideously complicated series of computer commands, only to be stopped by michelle the hall-e, who informed me that i had been using the wrong disk number and nearly wiped my computer of everything on it) ophelia seems to be working properly. she's syncing on itunes right now, which means i won't have any real confirmation until morning since it'll take all night for my music to copy onto it. i don't care. i'm just so excited. i was really starting to hate seeing that stupid little gray apple logo pop up on its home screen every time i tried to do anything with it.

and on that happy note, i really will go to bed. i'm actually resisting the urge to stay up all night until ophelia is done syncing. be proud of me. and wish me luck - hopefully this will be my last night of curling up to my phone so i can still hear music while i sleep.

louder than ever

today's title comes from the song of the same name by cold war kids.

this week's itunes free music downloads were a mixed bag. i'm a big fan of the spanish song of the week

but they're also offering what looks like a free copy of blue suede shoes. beware, though. beware. it's this horrible, remixed thing. who would remix elvis?

sometimes i feel like two different people. hermit rachel and college rachel don't even seem to belong to the same species, let alone the same person. that's how bad it is - i'm referring to myself in the third person. how obnoxious is that?

i can't explain it properly, but i feel like i should try since this blog really has come to replace my diary lately. well, this blog and my ical. everything seems to be in there. see?

back to me being whiny and self indulgent...

i don't like change. at all. and it keeps coming home to me that who we are now isn't who we've been (isn't who we'll be). all of the plans i had for myself are slowly unraveling and being replaced by new ones. the new plans aren't necessarily bad. but...they're different. i actually considered becoming a pre-med major. me! to be fair, biology and stats are actually my highest grades right now (who would've thought that'd happen?) and i was being unfairly influenced by one-too-many "save the children!" documentaries in my global issues class.

still. it's change. changes everywhere. leaves and classes and people. oh, people. oldest and dearest friends of mine, why must you keep changing on me? some of you have been throwing me for a loop lately. i think i might be doing the same thing to some of you.

where i see myself in ten years is changing, too. i never realized this before, but (soccer ogling aside), i'm a little terrified of actual relationships. blame the momster and husband number one (and their various, numbered spouses) for that, i guess. i don't know. the thought of getting married before i'm, like, forty is vaguely horrifying to me. i want...the world, i guess. to see everything and do everything and date a couple dozen people just in case (who knows - the multiple marriage thing could be genetic) and just...be. i want to die knowing i've experienced life.

i want to die with the ability to stop going on quasi-philosophical rants in the middle of the night. 


i feel so unsettled, mentally. if i was home right now, this would be the time i did something reckless. started one of those mini-adventures that usually leads to one (or all) of you commenting with some variation of "oh, rachel" or "not again" or "you crazy bitch". which...fair enough, i suppose. the hall-es here seem dedicated to keeping me in line, though, since i've already been told to wrap this up and go to bed, to finish my paper tomorrow (but not put it off later than that), and to stop eating fun dip at 1:45 in the morning. i can't help it. i like it when my tongue is blue.

also, i lied. i totally lied. i know exactly what brought this post on. someone i was friends with in elementary school got engaged. engaged. and pregnant, which - go figure. but but but. we used to share wonderballs and those weird little cookies that you dunked in frosting at recess. how is this even possible? i might be panicking slightly. also, how does one even go about responding to that wedding invitation? is there a polite way to say "no, thank you, i prefer not to freak myself out any further watching you and your idiot groom who's even uglier than he was back in the day get hitched next weekend"? i didn't think so. 


i'm done being crazed and rambly for the night. the momster is coming for our weekly mother-daughter bonding session tomorrow, so i'll probably rant to her, too. and isn't it strange how i actually look forward to that now? i used to hate it. now it's like one of the only normal things left in my life. also, starbucks better name a drink after me by the time i graduate. i swear, there are days where i think my family keeps them in business. well, the northern virginia and frederick ones, at least.

random story of the day: in my chaucer class (filled almost entirely with english majors as it's a 395), neither my professor nor any of my classmates could remember what galileo was famous for. one person suggested that it was for discovering that the earth was round. another said he did "something wonky" with gravity (tangentially, isn't wonky a fun word? i think i'll start using it). at long last, one of the lone science people (bio major, to be specific) finally set everyone straight. this is the same class full of people who got into an in-depth discussion on robespierre, dante, and ezra pound. oh, english majors. i love you all.

oh captain, my captain

i couldn't sleep and was sick of studying biology, so i decided to start working on my iranian film paper. it's about the movie offside, which was actually pretty interesting. it's basically the iranian version of bend it like beckham - and, as i've been learning in my seminar, the "iranian film version" of anything should automatically be read as "the secretly super-political film version of"featuring iranian people.

the movie is about a bunch of girls who dress up like boys to sneak into a soccer game, because girls aren't allowed in the stadium. well, iranian girls aren't, anyway. if you're foreign and you go to iran to support your team in, like, a world cup qualifier or something the iranian government still has to let you in. anyway, while writing my essay, i kept using the word "matchgoer" and getting annoyed when the little red line of spell-checkiness inevitably appeared. i was convinced it was a real word. like, heard-it-in-conversation-read-it-a-million-times-all-over-the-place convinced. so i googled it. and this was the result. why, yes, the first six or so of those links would be liverpool-related. i guess this is what happens when i try to do homework late at night on a game day (which we won, for the record. 3-1, no less, after spending the first half down a goal to napoli)

captain fantastic scorer of a hat trick as a substitute stevie g thanks you for your time with his wonderful fuck-off-napoli celebration:

six hours to go...

guess who's not sleeping tonight. yes, that would be me. i'm afraid i won't wake up in time for the game. luckily i have some hall-es to keep me company. we're marathoning angel right now. oh, david boreanaz, how i've missed you.

we all knew this was coming

it's two thirty in the morning and i'm still awake. i am one hundred percent packed now. even the car is packed up. that's how packed for college i am. also, i really hate using my number keypad, so don't expect anything with...digits. is that the word? i don't actually know. it's late, i'm tired, and...

i don't remember my first day of high school. or middle school, for that matter. for some reason i do remember every first day of every grade between kindergarten and sixth grade. i guess my brain is just weird like that.

well, today is about to be my first day of college. i wonder if i'll remember this one. i guess that's why i'm blogging. i really shouldn't be, i'm so tired that i can't even understand what i'm typing right now. i guess it's a free write, then. stream-of-consciousness? if only i was james joyce.

i'm actually excited to go to college - and even if i wasn't, the momster's crying fits in the container store/bed, bath & beyond/harris teeter/every public place in the world would be enough to make me excited just at the prospect of leaving her. but...

my room is empty. like, meggo's and jenibean's fans are off the walls and my bulletin board is taken down and my sheets are in the dryer still because the momster said i wouldn't want to come home to a dirty room. it's so creepy.

so now i'm sleeping on the couch. it's kind of fitting in a way. i mean, my first night in this house (my first night in a lot of houses, actually) was spent sleeping on the couch because those slacker parents of mine were too lazy to set up my bedframe. they blamed it on my picking out a bed made of wrought iron and wood. i still think they were just lazy.

i dyed my hair black yesterday. it's going to be a pain to keep up during college, but at least it isn't The Oops.

just looking at the link is enough to make me nostalgic. alas, alack. woe is me, etc. etc.

in other news, real madrid signed another midfielder and drew against a third-rate belgian team in a pointless friendly yesterday. if they keep this crap up expect lots and lots of pissed off soccer ranting from me this year.

oh, and get on oovoo. it's addictive.

ahahahaha

i'm getting to all of you. this is a quick post to share the good news: i've got another convert. that's right: the soulless ginger has a blog! go follow him. hopefully we can peer pressure him and sarah with an umlaut into consistent blogging.

...which also means he needs a tag. damn it.

oh well, here's my nocturnal song of the night. it used to be on the bloglist (you know, way back when there was one), so it should be familiar (i'm looking at you s-la), but just in case you haven't heard it:

also, i just want it on record that i object to this whole "rachel is snarky" thing you all seem to have agreed on. i am so not snarky. trust me, i know snarky people and i'm definitely not one of them. mildly sarcastic, yes. full blown snark? not there yet. but, oh, do i have goals.

happy birthday america

i'd post about watching the fireworks in dc/the hellhole that is the beltway, but it's late and i'm tired. ditto for why there isn't another world cup picture post waiting for you. instead, i'm just going to leave this here:

it's true and it's sad and i'm not allowed a third dog yet but in the unlikely event that any of you are looking for a new pet...well, you know what to do.

my mind has changed my body's frame

today's title comes from wolf like me by tv on the radio. it's pretty old - i first heard it freshman year - but it was used on so you think you can dance last night and i fell right back in love with it. have a listen:

as you have probably guessed, that terrible immune system of mine decided to give up again last week. long story short: bacterial infection of the throat probably picked up through drink-sharing. dr. emperor-from-mulan, in true crazy doctor fashion, prescribed antibiotics, rest, and - merde - a maximum of two caffeinated drinks per day. two. apparently the caffeine + related nocturnalness (it is a word, damn it. stop lying to me, safari. it can be a word if i say it is) aren't helping my poor, beleaguered immune system.

tony from skins and i are in full agreement. also we're ecstatic that the skins movie is official!

it's actually been a pretty horrible week. the primary source of my discomfort isn't, as one might expect, the disgusting medicines i now take on a daily basis or the itchy state of my throat. no, it's much, much worse:

the momster donated all of our extended editions of lord of the rings to, like, goodwill or the salvation army or one of those. she "thought we had two copies". um, no. now i've only got the regular versions to watch! whatever am i going to do? my woe is endless.

the momster.

other than that, i'm doing pretty well. my makeup homework is, as expected, minimal. oh, and it's all done. so there's one worry off my mind. oh, and i have job interviews! one at cold stone on saturday morning and one at guess in the afternoon. i'm excited. wish me luck?

the lulus have been acting very strangely lately. first, lulu was like this:

and then cookie was like this:

and then lulu turned on her Cute Face and all was well:

until:

my dogs - they're terrifying.

i'm actually going to start in on a second post tonight. it might go up tonight or tomorrow, depending on when i finish it. it's going to be all about books and writing, which seemed too unrelated to this post for me to include it. until then, amuse yourself with one of my favorite dance-around-the-house songs:

and glozelle. who you better watch. especially you, s-la:

oh, and here's another fun video just because:

you think it's endless, endless, endless

today's title comes from sleigh bells' crown on the ground. i can't find a decent version on youtube so you're just going to have to look it up yourself.

my econ exams went well. kind of. the macroeconomics exam was fine, since that's the unit we just finished learning. microeconomics wasn't that bad, either...not until the free responses, anyway. even after travis and i murdered a tree printing off past free responses to study, this year's was still a mystery. i put down a few nonsensical terms and busied myself drawing pictures. lots and lots of pictures. my personal favorite was a goldfish rendering of the high school cafeteria map in mean girls - i made the asians sushi rolls.

at least our teacher fed us. it figures that my worst exam(s) would have the best food. my favorite parts were the costco box of twizzlers (i still have a bunch in my bag), peanut m&ms, and buffalo chicken kickers for lunch. food just makes everything better, you know? in the mean girls cafeteria hierarchy i think i might be one of the girls who eat their feelings. oh no.

blossom is my favorite. who's yours? also, do any of you even read the captions? can i just start saying strange things in these or trying to brainwash you via subliminal messages embedded in the photo/gif captions or... i'm feeling kind of pinky and the brain today. don't judge.

oh, look, jon stewart has a teddy bear. that's nice. watching the daily show is a horrible distraction when one is trying to complete homework. blogging and watching the daily show, on the other hand, makes any hopes of finishing homework nonexistent, so...at least i can accept my fate? which will probably include staying up to an unhealthy hour finishing it or waking up really early and finishing it or taking it to lit and finishing it?

i don't know, don't expect anything sensible from me tonight. all i've done today is binge on sugary snacks, take two giant tests, and nap. my brain is still warming up. or shutting down. i'm not entirely sure.

in case you hadn't noticed already, my preferred exam time music tends to have a lot of the same songs/genres as my nighttime playlists: quiet or acoustic or old. makes sense, right? who wants to sleep or study or slit their wrists shrieking "why me?" and cursing college board and everyone who runs it to, i don't know, rap or death metal or club remixes? not me. (well except for the title song. but that was part of my special New Music exception). so if today's songs seem sort of familiar in tone, there's a reason...i'm a creature of extreme predictability (or not. i'm not entirely sure about that, actually. the momster says i am, but most other people say i'm not. what do you think?) and i listen to the same playlists while i blog or put of doing homework or pretend to study or attempt to sleep. in this case, the playlist features a lot of someone s-la likes to call "ray lamontage". for future reference, his name is ray lamontagne. you've all probably heard of him since he's awesome and coffeehouse loves him. in case you haven't heard the correct way to say his name, it's ray la-mon-tane.

my favorite:

a cover! we all know my weakness for those (in case you're wondering, the cover songs smart playlist is at 989 songs). the original is (unfortunately) one of the momster's favorite songs, but we've managed to compromise on this version for the car (usually):

and another cover!

why should we even care?

today's title comes from iron man by black sabbath. here, enjoy it:

if you haven't heard by now, i went to see iron man 2 at midnight the day of/after my ap lit exam (which was ridiculously easy, i felt so smart...look for that to change on thursday when i have to take two econ exams). i liked it even more than the first one but my appreciation of these movies has always been based on how long robert downey jr. is on screen, so it was definitely worth going to the midnight showing, even if i did have to suffer through school on four hours of sleep (and not one drop of caffeine until i cried to an unnamed school official for coffee - did you know that officially teachers can't provide us with anything caffeinated because it's a "drug"? those fascists). luckily we weren't doing anything too strenuous in class on friday...or anything at all. we mostly spent the day playing board games in various parts of the school. i'm guessing the last few weeks of school are going to hover somewhere between "easy" and "laughable" or the hard work scale.

oh, and a little thing called prom happened yesterday. it was...like every other dance i've been to, actually. the only new additions to the formula of bad music + good dinner + fun group + pretty clothes and nails and hair were the limo and meggo. and even meggo doesn't really count, since s-la and i have both tagged along to her dances before. at least i sort of managed to dance with my shoes on for a little while? i find that impressive. so does robert downey jr.

after, however, something wonderful happened. i learned how to take out my contacts. and it neither ripped in half nor mysteriously popped out while i kept stabbing my eye with my finger. all the credit for that goes to s-la. so, who knows, now that i've figured out how to touch my eye without horrible things happening maybe i'll even start wearing them regularly. maybe.

an alternative name for this holiday is gratuitous rdj gif day, just so you all know

today was mother's day. it was pretty uneventful. i presented the momster with her prezzie, she flapped around a bit, we went out to eat, the end. i'm mentioning this because it's sheer lack of drama fills me with glee. i learned long ago in middle school to include a handwritten disclaimer with all of her cards and presents banning overly emotional displays of affection between us, since hallmark hasn't seen fit to create a card with that addendum. they should really get on that. would any of you want to be cried on and called pumpkin for, like, an hour? i don't think so. this way is so much better.

anyway, i'm still pretty tired/operating on a sleep deficit, so i'm going to cut this post short. look for longer blogs this week, though, since things are finally winding down in school.

emergency

this just gets its own post. ophelia the ipod did something weird so itunes prompted me to restore. i, being retanded (hey, i'll use the word if i want to), clicked okay.

and now my ipod has been wiped and has to be resynced. it's actually syncing right now. as in, it's got to upload over thirteen thousand songs back onto it.

...i'm dying. also, clearly i'm going to be up all night. i hate life.

time has come today

it's been a long, long day. i'll give you the details tomorrow, but - well, time has come today has been my theme song of the day. that should tell you something.

i'm really just dead tired right now, so i'm going to do exactly what i said i wouldn't - today's blog will be oh-so-very picture-heavy. beginning with:

that last picture is probably my favorite. if i saw that when i drove - well, you probably wouldn't have to threaten/bribe me to get behind the wheel of a car. 

since this is going to be a short blog, i thought i'd share a random (rachel-related) fact of the day: the only thing i hate more than steak is seafood. this fact is actually not all that random, but you won't get to hear that story until tomorrow. 

i'm finishing this up with another picture and a challenge. every day i create a new on-the-go playlist to house all of the songs i feel like listening to while i'm at school, in the car, out and about, or just relaxing away from my computer; usually i delete it when i re-sync/charge my phone for the night, but every once in a while a playlist is so spot on or reflective of my mood that day that i save it. you've all probably guessed that that's what happened with today's playlist. so there's the picture (it's posted below), and here's the challenge: make your own playlist of the day and post it (or a link in the comments) and i'll try to guess why you picked the songs that you used. sound fun? yeah, i didn't think so, but do it anyway.

dear world...

homework sucks. i really don't want to go back to school tomorrow, especially since i've somehow become nocturnal after not waking up before noon for the last week and a half.

on a happier note, i'm going to have, like, a four-hour day between the delay and d-lunch/early release. so i think i'll just pull an all-nighter, come home, and nap.

i'm listening to little lover's so polite by silversun pickups. it's pretty good.

i saw steffi did a post about twilight i thought i'd share something that made me laugh. i really hope google never reconsiders their search suggestions:

change (i wanna live forever)

so, you may have noticed that something is missing from this page.

that's right - the bloglist? it's gone.

i've decided to resurrect my tumblr, so if you want to hear the songs i'm currently in love with, go check it out. i've got a song a day policy going on there, so the rest of it is just books and pictures and links and videos that have caught my eye. it's stream of consciousness at its finest. besides, i've been getting really irritated with blogger's posting format lately - it's awful to try and post from my phone, even with the new app - so i've decided to switch back to tumblr for a lot of things. it's so much more convenient.

yes i am talking this site up because i am expecting you to join it. duh.

(four winds - the killers)

this little guy (snagged from cuteoverload, of course) and i were both fully prepared to weather the snowstorm...from the safety of our own warm houses. that's right, i spent this lovely day off from school sitting around my house, running, snacking, and watching tv.

well, except for the nine hours i was on the phone.

thankfully those nine hours were neither consecutive nor with the same person. i don't normally use my phone for actual conversations (i don't care if you think that sounds silly - texting is easier), and when i do it's usually with the same small circle of people. today i made an exception, though, since i was just so damn bored.

god, remember the days when a sudden snowfall was such a happy occasion? like, for purpose other than ensuring school cancellations? because i remember being a kid and spending all day happily sledding or throwing snowballs or just watching my dogs sink in the snow and disappear and not wanting to do anything but be outside for hours.

obviously i don't feel like that anymore. also, that last paragraph was an utter mess of run-on sentences and fragments, but i'm feeling to lethargic to clean it up. it's times like these that i can understand why sloth is a sin.

i actually think i'm going to sleep now. it's pretty early for me, but for some reason i'm more tired now than i normally am after having done actual work.

reasons why rachel has yet to sleep

1. the interwebs:

(climbing up the walls - radiohead)

2. coffee. and links about coffee. 

(you wanna get me high - the donnas)

3. them things with the words and the - what's it called? oh yeah, paper. 

(bell, book, & candle - eddi reader)

don't you know your bed awaits and now it's time for sleeping?

so i've come to the conclusion that i don't need an Indie Music Friend after all. don't get me wrong - i definitely wouldn't mind one. it's that it i don't think having one is essential to the overall health and well-being of eve the ipod or my itunes library.

now, i've been filling this blog for months with tales of my epic longing for an Indie Music Friend so you might be wondering what's wrought this sudden change. well, it's pretty simple - after seventeen years (give or take a few when i was still learning how to walk & talk &c.) of using the computer i have finally figured out how to work the interwebs. you can translate that from rachel-to-english and read it as: spoon's new album transference leaked and i have a copy. man oh man!

i've been listening to it for half the night now. it's pretty awesome. i'm going to get some sleep - after all, it wouldn't do to be late to saturday school when i'm going because i was late - but right now i'm listening to goodnight laura. i'm hoping it'll inspire me to sleep.

i want it all

...but perhaps not right now. nevertheless, here's the top three things i've been drooling over, brought to you via the intertubes.

1. remember my kitty fixation? it's back:

2. this scale:

3. a new cam cam

in less greedy news, i'm listening to believing is art by spoon. i just finished watching viva las vegas - it was elvis day on tcm. i remembered to record speedway but not blue hawaii and the momster was the one who recorded viva las vegas for me. oh well, at least i've still got another hour and a half or so of elvis to look forward to tomorrow.

random thought: ann-margret's wardrobe in viva las vegas makes me want to go shopping. i'm feeling the urge for a-line skirts and sleeveless dresses. i think i'm going to add a 'vintage/thrift store shopping buddy' to the list of friends i need to make. he/she (it can be a he! that way i'd be getting a gay bff and a vintage shopping buddy all in one go...two birds, one stone, etc.) might even be higher than the indie music buddy, since i'm getting pretty good at finding stuff in the interwebs - helped in large part by after the show and the 405 - but not so good at going to thrift stores by myself.

hmm, that's all for now. i guess i'll go back to writing.

let's just begin this post on a happy note

because you know that a first-monday-back-at-school-in-over-sixteen-days post will not be filled with many happymaking facts.

so, fact #1: i am actually ridiculously, unironically happy about the fact that i managed to discover - and fill my itunes top 25 - with bat for lashes and phoenix and the dirty projectors (although this one's only because of mark hoppus's music blog) long before pretentious indie music blogs started featuring them on their year-end roundups.

fact #2: the new blogger dashboard draft thing? is awesome. if i'd had my way if s-la hadn't made me get one of these things i'd still be on livejournal or tumblr, which are both much easier to use (and have communities for basically everything) so it's nice to see google catching up. you go blogger, coco.

fact #3: i've officially completed my reread of the poisonwood bible, just in time for class tomorrow. that makes the fourth time i've read it. the multiple points of view are still so well done as to make you feel you fail at life and/or writing. rachel is sadly still a moron. i foresee this being a fun unit in lit.

oh, and the best news of all? i've got a full scholarship to my preferred tiny safety school. which is, you know, exciting. at the very least i'm no longer feeling super-stressed, so hopefully i'll actually be able to keep my new year's resolution of zen this year.

and now for the bad news:

this writing-a-story thing is highly complicated. i'm afraid i'm going to have to chop a good chunk of what i wrote during my all-night writing binge. i adore some bits of it but it just isn't doing anything to further the plot and if i keep it the pace will drag. oh well. i'm hoping after about fifteen years and compulsive rewriting this might actually turn out decently. like let-people-read-this decent, even. one can only hope.

i've updated the bloglist, too. it's tiny right now - a few of the most recent adds to the old one and two new songs. well, i'm not sure if they count as two separate songs since kid cudi's the prayer samples the funeral by band of horses. i love the original and the not-quite-a-remix, though, so they both went it. also - and you'll probably be able to tell this by the lyrics - both of those songs have been my theme for what little of The Book With No Name that i've written so far. oh and right now i'm listening to holdin' on together by phoenix.

ugh, i have to go back to my homework now. i'd rant about that, too, but gina and jenibean have both done a better job of that, so just read their posts instead.

here, i'll leave you with something vaguely inspirational. or i assume it's inspirational since when i look at it now i mostly just laugh uncontrollably, since when i was a tiny wee widdle emo rachel and had a myspace and a xanga and still had an aim screenname to post away messages to (oh, the bad old days) this was one of my deep and insightful posts. it's good to know that, no matter how old and grown up you may feel, some things never change: