dear world...

homework sucks. i really don't want to go back to school tomorrow, especially since i've somehow become nocturnal after not waking up before noon for the last week and a half.

on a happier note, i'm going to have, like, a four-hour day between the delay and d-lunch/early release. so i think i'll just pull an all-nighter, come home, and nap.

i'm listening to little lover's so polite by silversun pickups. it's pretty good.

i saw steffi did a post about twilight i thought i'd share something that made me laugh. i really hope google never reconsiders their search suggestions:

fifteen cans of spray paint in a chemical swirl

today's title is brought to you by Are You Fucking Kidding Me?, or four winds by bright eyes. get on with listening to it so i can start pimping another song to you.

in two minutes it's going to be valentine's day. it's a good thing i don't have class until tuesday (maybe later, if all that hoopla about snow on monday is true) because this would be something i'd do:

i actually left my house this weekend! it was exciting in the oh-so-pathetic way that an ordinarily boring trip to the mall always becomes after being snowed in for a week. and i bought things (i hope you're fist pumping like a champ for capitalism). here's a sampling of the things i got:

in case you couldn't tell, my shopping priorities are heavily skewed in favor of the printed word. and stephen colbert, who would like you all to know that he didn't write his book, he dictated it in a tape recorder to his agent. also i picked up two floral dresses, a really soft blazer, and this great slouchy, loose-collared cardigan (respective points of purchase: nordstrom, j. c. penny, and charlotte russe).

today's round-up of pictures are a little more political than usual (don't ask what i was googling, the answer will be even more boring than usual):

right now i'm listening to: ghost animals by foxy shazam

hold us at the center while the spiral unwinds

guess what? today's title was stolen from bright eyes' four winds. i know, i know - you're shocked. i love this song so much. almost as much as i love florence + the machine.

florence + the machine is and isn't a new love. i got kiss with a fist from the jennifer's body soundtrack (dear itunes, i hate you for making new perspective an album-only purchase even if the rest of the soundtrack was good) and liked it. so then i hunted down the rest of her album and liked it enough to listen to it a few times, but it never really reached earworm status with me. of course, due to the snow week i've had nearly unlimited music-listening time, so i started listening to it again and realized how amazing it is.

i wonder why that happens? i almost never like something the first time i'm exposed to it. the first time i heard kings of leon i made a face and paused the album to put the strokes back on; cobra starship had me reaching for my midtown cds before half a song had finished; even four winds, the song i've been relentlessly plugging for most of the last week, gained a 'meh' reaction the first time i heard it.

there's probably a moral in that last paragraph, lurking in the gaps between sentences. don't judge a song by its album art, or something along those lines. i don't know, it was just a stray thought that crossed my mind. we all know that this blog is more stream of consciousness than anything else.

i've been making good use of my free time this week. i'm currently watching gilmore girls, which is always enough to bring on a minor fit of nostalgia - how is it already rerunning on abc family? not to be completely cliche, but it seems like just yesterday that i was hurrying to finish my homework in time to sit on the couch and watch the latest in the rory-jess-dean-marty-logan saga.

well, no, that was a lie. the boys were pretty and rory was wonderful but everyone should have watched the show for all of the minor characters. especially paris. because she was awesome.

surprisingly that little tangent had an actual point. see, i finally got around to watching the latest episode of bones only like five days late and wow. i hadn't thought there was a show on the air that could beat gilmore girls' nostalgia factor and then bones gave me david boreanaz genuflecting and talking about demons.

i will admit that, at first, my reaction went a little like this, since said buffy the vampire slayer/angel flashbacks were 'brought to you by The Most Ridiculous Plot Since Twilight':

but then i took the time to reflect and recall that, even though the plot was a little silly, it was angel david boreanaz. recalling his good ole badass vampire days/demon hunting. sort of. and then my face was more like this:

because it's angel/seeley booth/david boreanaz on my television and i miss the buffy-verse so much. i don't even care that it takes one of the most ridiculous plots in five seasons of bones to bring back a flash of that. it was perfect. i am just barely resisting the urge to dig out seasons two and three of buffy to rewatch. barely. 

i will probably be giving into this urge in the near future, especially since it's still snowing and isn't supposed to stop for a 'good long time' according to abc news. 

(and yes, i can overuse italics if i want to. i am having a flashback to my thirteen year old self and she was quite, quite fond of the 'slanty-word-effect')

munching on tacos right now. it was fun to actually leave the house. less fun? coming home to see snow already falling. oh well. 

okay, gilmore girls is no longer on but i didn't get to live-blog through the end because i was busy bawling a like a little baby. lorelai's letter about luke. and christopher's reaction. and luke's face. the whole ending of this episode just kills me. obviously. 

here, even though this is a stream-of-consciousness post (can we even call this a post? it was like an uninterrupted stream-of-fangirling instead), i'll try and give this some closure. i've liked a lot of things since i was a kid. i've latched onto fads and trends and scenes, then one day got the idea (at the same time as everyone else did) that i was going to be an 'individual' and only like things that no one else did. it's taken me a long a time to admit to liking the things that i do, not because they're cool or popular - because god knows most of them aren't - but because i think they're amazing. because they inspire me. and because i want them to inspire you, too. 

maybe that's why it took me so many tries to like the things i mentioned earlier in this post. sometimes you're so busy trying to be someone else that you miss being able to discover new things. you think, 'gee, that's niceboringsimpleaverage' and move on to whatever someone else has told you is cool. 

and maybe growing up means admitting that you'll never really grow up at all. 

on that note, i'm going to leave you with my favorite picture of the day. thank god for the internet.

on the way to cassadaga to commune with the dead

today's title was, once again, stolen from bright eyes' song four winds. in case you couldn't tell, i really like it. go listen to it or i will cut you.

oh, and in case you were wondering, one communes with the dead via pictures. be warned, there will be a lot of them in today's post. i wish i could create a nifty little sign to warn you properly. it'd be all fancy and yellow and have lots of stick figures spelling out 'hit the back button' a la YMCA. after seeing this picture, though, i'm afraid that no sign i create will ever measure up:

i really have nothing to blog about. no thing. all i've done is put the emergency groceries away - doesn't it seem like everyone and their mother went grocery shopping today? - and watch my snow fort melt slowly in the sun. thankfully nature is going to rebuild it for me since, you guessed it, we're in for more snow tomorrow. to which i say:

in case you were wondering, a good portion of this post will be pictures or links. this is mostly because, as a result of the snow week, i've spent an unhealthy amount of time on the internet. pity me. 

as a result of my boredom i even offered to drive myself somewhere. me. driving. voluntarily. 

in case you were wondering why this is such a novel event, my native american name is actually Fears Car Gets Crushed. 

and, of course, after bravely attempting to overcome my fear of the car, the momster's reaction went like this:

and then my face, it did this:

and then for the rest of the day i was about .00092 seconds away from becoming this person:

okay, that's all folks. i'm off to watch david letterman and curse all of jay leno's ancestors and descendants for removing coco from my television. 

!!!

the momster - the same momster who's set the over-the-stove fan on fire in three separate houses - managed to successfully make brownies.

stop laughing, i'm not even kidding. i took pictures so i'd be able to look back on this day of wonder and remember that i wasn't just imagining it:

and see that bite mark on the corner? well, that's where i took a test bite (well, i had to make sure she hadn't accidentally used salt instead of sugar or something) and guess what?

they don't suck. 

i'm going to use this picture now because there will clearly be no other occasion for it ever again:

knocking over fences, crossing property lines (i wish)

today's title is three-fourths conor oberst and one-fourth anne shirley rachel. if you can't recognize the origins of that particular adapted quotation, we are no longer friends.

also, i've decided that i'm no longer annoyed by the snow. see, it's provided me with the opportunity to work out more than i've ever managed to during the wonderful winter months which, in turn, enables me to devour the delicious goodies the momster bought pre-storm. this cupcake might just be my favorite. it's just so darn pretty, isn't it? oh, and that book in the corner is philip pullman's the subtle knife, which is another good thing the snow brought - (re)reading time. 

does anyone remember gina's post about the top ten songs you would listen to on a desert island? well, i've been promising myself i would take this challenge up myself for a few days, but every time i tried it was just too hard to narrow it down. i mean, just ten songs. and then, which songs? your favorites? because that could turn out badly; most of my favorite songs are fairly sad and somehow i don't think i'd want to listen to something weepy while reenacting a solo version of gilligan's island (i bet you were expecting me to reference lost but i'm not quite cray cray enough to put up with that show's particular brand of viewer fuckery. i grew up watching buffy, okay, kids? i know the misery a series creator with a shiny tin dictator's hat will put you through). and then, would you bring a cd of your favorite currents songs - the earworms that you just can't get out of your head - or your favorite songs of all time? or songs guaranteed to cheer you up on a desert island and - no. see, i overthink things.

eventually i decided to limit myself to one song per artist and list my ten favorites, in no particular order lies midtown will always come first okay?:

1. waiting for the news - midtown
2. jesus christ - brand new
3. reckless abandon - blink-182
4. king of the rodeo - kings of leon
5. the funeral - band of horses and the prayer by kid cudi which sadly didn't get it's own slot because it samples this song and that would just be a waste
6. hold on to what you believe - laura marling and mumford & sons
7. no, it isn't - +44 shut up it isn't blink-182 and the song has 332 plays on my iTunes i couldn't skip it although if you insist i suppose it's alternate would be obsessions by marina and the diamonds
8. neighborhood #3 (power out) - arcade fire
9. jolene - ray lamontagne
10. headfirst slide into cooperstown on a bad bet - fall out boy

whew, that was hard. making decisions is so not my thing, i mean, i'm a libra! 

now, here's what the internet had to offer since my last post:

and here's what the real world thought of that:

currently listening to: obsessions - marina & the diamonds

productivity? pfft, it's a myth.

gee, look, it snowed. again. my reaction when i woke up this morning? it looked a lot like this:

and, yes, even though we're off school until wednesday, i am still complaining about it. i've been stuck in a rut of reading, writing, blogging, and running all day. as you all know, i'm fans of those things (no, really, i am, just look at how often their respective labels get used), but even i need some form of distraction. luckily s-la provided a pretty good one - i harassed her into getting a tumblr today, so that took up some of my time. i'm afraid that the end of this snow week (since it really wouldn't be appropriate to call it a snow day anymore) is going to find me with unspeakable hours of phone and internet usage logged.

although, to be completely honest, i should probably quit complaining since all that time on the phone and internet lead me to discover little gems like this:

oh, and this:

now, because i won't give up on pushing tumblr on you all, i'll refer you to mine to hear the latest earworm on my ipod. it's the bird and the bee's cover of how deep is your love, originally by the beegees. yes, i'm afraid that prolonged exposure to the momster's playlists has irreparably damaged my taste in music. in all seriousness, though, i kind of love this cover. inara george's voice is so gorgeous and she turns the song into something almost fragile-sounding, if that makes any sense. in other words, i recommend it. a lot.

now, let's talk about something Very Important. clothes:

this time it's my favorites from the preen and just cavalli pre-fall collections. i'm not going to even try to offer some sort of commentary for these, since we all know i'm not a fashion blogger by any stretch of the imagination. i just can't wait until pre-college shopping, though.

change (i wanna live forever)

so, you may have noticed that something is missing from this page.

that's right - the bloglist? it's gone.

i've decided to resurrect my tumblr, so if you want to hear the songs i'm currently in love with, go check it out. i've got a song a day policy going on there, so the rest of it is just books and pictures and links and videos that have caught my eye. it's stream of consciousness at its finest. besides, i've been getting really irritated with blogger's posting format lately - it's awful to try and post from my phone, even with the new app - so i've decided to switch back to tumblr for a lot of things. it's so much more convenient.

yes i am talking this site up because i am expecting you to join it. duh.

(four winds - the killers)

this little guy (snagged from cuteoverload, of course) and i were both fully prepared to weather the snowstorm...from the safety of our own warm houses. that's right, i spent this lovely day off from school sitting around my house, running, snacking, and watching tv.

well, except for the nine hours i was on the phone.

thankfully those nine hours were neither consecutive nor with the same person. i don't normally use my phone for actual conversations (i don't care if you think that sounds silly - texting is easier), and when i do it's usually with the same small circle of people. today i made an exception, though, since i was just so damn bored.

god, remember the days when a sudden snowfall was such a happy occasion? like, for purpose other than ensuring school cancellations? because i remember being a kid and spending all day happily sledding or throwing snowballs or just watching my dogs sink in the snow and disappear and not wanting to do anything but be outside for hours.

obviously i don't feel like that anymore. also, that last paragraph was an utter mess of run-on sentences and fragments, but i'm feeling to lethargic to clean it up. it's times like these that i can understand why sloth is a sin.

i actually think i'm going to sleep now. it's pretty early for me, but for some reason i'm more tired now than i normally am after having done actual work.

and i'm singing "snow-oh, snow-oh" - the reprise

in case you haven't already heard (and if you haven't, please comment with the location of the lock you've been living under, since i've been looking for a nice place to hermit) tomorrow's a snow day.

like most people, i'm pretty damn excited about this (sorry, s-la, it's not a real cuss word). mostly because it means that i don't have to do my homework tonight, don't have a gov quiz tomorrow, and the calc test that was originally scheduled for tomorrow? is now moved until tuesday. possibly later.

do you want to know the real reason i'm excited for this snow day? you do. it's pretty boring:

see those lovely, overflowing baskets of clothes? yeah, that's my laundry. which i haven't done since, oh, i don't know...the week after christmas break?

in other words, it's been a while since the washer and i have had more than a passing acquaintance. i've been reduced to stealing my mother's overpriced leggings (which i will confess to liking much more than my own - perhaps i'll just keep them, it's not like she'll notice, we share closets) and wearing hoodies and t-shirts from freshman year. it's so very sadmaking, except for the part that said old/stolen clothes are wonderfully comfortable.

in keeping with today's trend of grainy iPhone pictures, here's two more:

this is Snow Day Celebration Cupcake. the momster picked it up when she was emergency grocery shopping. sadly it got a little squished when i took it out of the dandy little cupcake holder but i assure you that it was beyond adorable before it's little impromptu photo session. 

cookie wants you all to know that he is also beyond adorable, especially when begging for cupcake crumbs. also, meggo's shoes say hi.

now, let's talk about this:

it's probably definitely edited. but still - kesha. keysha. keesha. k-dollar-ha. we know that you're capable of being an intelligent human being so quit the shenanigans already. next thing we know, you'll be arrested for yelling 'bomb' in an airport. and you're pretty and all, but when even the models can't get out of jail after offering to reenact an indecent proposal, you know there's no hope for you.

in happier news, it's oscar month on tcm and my dvr is officially empty. or it will be until midnight, when it starts recording the errol flynn/olivia de havilland version of robin hood. i think tomorrow's going to be a laundry/movie marathon/finish perusing pre-fall collections sort of day.

oh and speaking of (why yes, i do try and pretend that my digressions into new topics aren't completely trite and predictable), these two are probably my favorites of the day:

oh, YSL, stella mccartney - why so wonderful? i'd sell my soul and also my entire harry potter collection just to have one piece of either of these collections - they all look so gorgeous and dramatic and still wearable. and you really don't want to know what i'd be willing to do for one of those hats. 

currently playing: take it in - hot chip.  

derailment

i had all these plans for a really great post about the thinky thoughts jeni's post on high school inspired me to have. and by "really great" i mean "general bitchery about how i'm just ready to graduate and doing something i'm actually interested in". it would have been a masterpiece - i'm 99% certain that i would've managed to shoehorn in an overblown metaphor or eight. in the words of rory gilmore - alas, alack. i was distracted by the complete perfection that is proenza schouler's pre-fall collection. i want it all. i mean, it's a snow day in the middle of february and it has me wishing for the good ol' september august back-to-school frenzy.

really, though, i just want this entire outfit:

(come on get higher - matt nathanson)

oh, why must it be so crazyexpensive? i suppose i'll just have to pull on a lady gaga mask and go knock over some banks. 

i'm drinking another peppermint mocha frapp right now and feeling very lovely and dissipated for doing so. it's sort of sad that my idea of luxury is having the guys at starbucks know you well enough to reopen and make you a drink even after they've closed. then again, my idea of a glamorous late night involves sipping said drink and putting itunes on shuffle while i play on the internet, so i guess it makes sense. 

(between - vienna teng)

i just updated the bloglist to include some of the songs that i've kept on loop these past few days. i've pretty much given up on making it any sort of actual playlist - now it's more of a 'here's what i want to listen to when i post things' type of deal.

today's link roundup is mostly positive. sure, there's the stray rumor that beyonce might be collaborating with kings of leon (please, god, no), but there was also news of the strokes' new album, a collaboration i actually like in the form of gerard way on amanda palmer's next album, hilarious rock star spending stories, a free (and legal) kid cudi download on kanye west's blog. the best of all these, though?

(jolene - ray lamontagne)

j. k. rowling is now a barbie doll. no, really. where was this when i was a kid? 

and now i'll step away from the linkage to fill you in on my fun-filled snow day. hooray for emergency babysitting for the neighbors - i love that employers won't let parents off of work when their kids don't have school. now i've got shopping money (not proenza schouler shopping money, but still). i did a lot little light reading today, too. the list? the golden compass and subtle knife by philip pullman, followed by the communist book club-approved looking glass wars. i figure that i'll finish that and the sequel and then reward myself by rereading the amber spyglass. and then stealing the third looking glass book from s-la. 

(exitlude - the killers)

"please don't say cahoots anymore, it's disturbing."

long time no see, blogger. a long time for us, anyway. homework and inevitable sleep-marathons brought on by chronic insomnia contrived to separate us last night.

we had a two hour delay this morning because of the snow. i was pretty annoyed, actually, since that meant i had to wait til 2:50 to leave. at least we've worked it out in gov so that the next time we have a delay we'll have d lunch and be able to leave at 2:20, which is a little bit better. still - delays. blegh.

i'm rereading poisonwood, this time for references to colonialism. i'm actually pretty excited for my lit project - after all, colonialism. i'm sensing an opportunity to take tons of pretty pictures and maybe even trek to williamsburg and get some re-enactors to post for me. also, on a fourth (fifth? i don't even know any more, but the first time i read it was the summer before sophomore year) reread rachel is somewhat more tolerable. at the very least i can now appreciate the inadvertent hilarity of her perspective. man oh man!

i'm forcing myself to take the writing of Untitled Book slowly. when i binge-write my writing usually takes a hit in quality, so slow. slow and steady wins the race against that darn rabbit. i'm not entirely sure why one would race a rabbit in the first place, but i mean for my book to win the race anyway.

the gilmore girls episode where paris loses her editorship of the yale daily news and rory takes over is on right now. it's on my favorite scene right now. i'd describe it for you, but i think it'd be better for all of us if you just watched it instead:

to all of you who've never seen this show - start watching. aren't you feeling inspired now?

i'm thinking of reorganizing the communist book collective. i really want to read st. augustine's the city of god, but i don't feel like i'll understand it completely unless i have someone to talk it over with and make me read it slowly. anyone in? as communists we are welcoming of all new readers.

oh, and i'm listening to lisztomania by phoenix.

this picture isn't related to anything, beyond the fact that there's roughly eighty three feet of snow on the ground and i really wish my backyard and/or town looked like this instead of the mess which it currently is (way to fail, snow plow men).

so today i was the laziest i've been in ages. no homework, no college applications, no...anything, really. it felt amazing. and since winter break is sixteen days this year, i'm hoping that there'll be a lot more days exactly like this one. why? well, there's a poem which describes what i feel a lot better than i ever could. it's called blues by elizabeth alexander:

I am lazy, the laziest

girl in the world. I sleep during

the day when I want to, 'til

my face is creased and swollen,

'til my lips are dry and hot. I

eat as I please: cookies and milk

after lunch, butter and sour cream

on my baked potato, foods that

slothful people eat, that turn

yellow and opaque beneath the skin.

Sometimes come dinnertime Sunday

I am still in my nightgown, the one

with the lace trim listing because

I have not mended it. Many days

I do not exercise, only

consider it, then rub my curdy

belly and lie down. Even

my poems are lazy. I use

syllabics instead of iambs,

prefer slant to the gong of full rhyme,

write briefly while others go

for pages. And yesterday,

for example, I did not work at all!

I got in my car and I drove

to factory outlet stores, purchased

stockings and panties and socks

with my father's money.

To think, in childhood I missed only

one day of school per year. I went

to ballet class four days a week

at four-forty-five and on

Saturdays, beginning always

with plie, ending with curtsy.

To think, I knew only industry,

the industry of my race

and of immigrants, the radio

tuned always to the station

that said, Line up your summer

job months in advance. Work hard

and do not shame your family,

who worked hard to give you what you have.

There is no sin but sloth. Burn

to a wick and keep moving.

I avoided sleep for years,

up at night replaying

evening news stories about

nearby jailbreaks, fat people

who ate fried chicken and woke up

dead. In sleep I am looking

for poems in the shape of open

V's of birds flying in formation,

or open arms saying, I forgive you, all.

what am i listening to right now? 1 John 4:16 by the mountain goats.

that's all for now. i'm going to sleep, and am hopefully not going to wake up for the next twelve hours.

100th post!

that's right, i've successfully blogged 100 times. aren't you proud?

to commemorate this wonderful occasion, i'm going to leave you with a profound summation of my last eight months of blogging:

cuz, let's face it - at least half of those hundred posts have been variations on 'OMG LOOK AT THE CUTE FUZZY ANIMAL'.

also, in honor of jeni finally discovering the onion last night, i give you this:

Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable'

in other news, i no longer have MongolEyes. oh, and our walkway and driveway is shoveled out! we actually managed to leave the house today. surprisingly, it was only for a little while as both the momster and i aren't really fans of driving on snowy roads. hmm, maybe by tomorrow everything will be cleared up? we can hope, right?

one of those fruit of the loom commercials came on. i really want a giant purple grape suit now. it'd match my...life. soul. room. idk, it would match one of the many purple things i own and there is no reason why i shouldn't get a purple grape suit for christmas.

...never mind. i just tried running that argument with the momster via text. still a no. however, if any of you haven't gotten me a prezzie yet - now you know what i want, so get on that. (except you, jeni, because i'm just going to show up at your house or meggo's and eat all your food one of these days. you brought this on yourself, though, with all the foodwhoring pictures, so no complaining)

i'm listening to...eurgh, i wish i could lie about this one, but - from a distance (christmas version) by bette midler. shut up. i can feel you judging me and i don't like it. it was on the radio today and i have a thing for 80s ballads. so there.

good work, snowstorm. i always knew i could count on you.

before i say anything else, let's just take a moment to appreciate this:

hmm, so the many (mis)adventures of r-wa & s-la can be read here, accompanied by pictures, s-la's commentary, and happy christmas music. and since this is clearly going to be the first blog of many this weekend, i won't bother to give my own version of events, except to elaborate on the two things she skipped.

the first is, of course, the MongolEyes. at first i thought i'd suddenly developed an allergy to cats which, as you all know, would've been disastrous, given my kitty-owning, lol-cat-making aspirations. however, further reflection revealed that that was highly unlikely since i've never been allergic to her cats before and if i was allergic to them than i wouldn't stil have giant, puffy, mongol-approved red eyes right now.

oh, and in case you're wondering, the Mongol reference comes from this movie. i couldn't find the clip online because people just don't appreciate baby genghis khan the way s and i do, but when little genghis/temudjin is picking out his wife, his father advises him not to get one with really big eyes since that's how the demons could fly into her mind.

needless to say, the demons won't be flying into my head anytime soon. i'd post pictures but even my mother won't stop laughing about them (she wants to make a snowman with 0_o face to commemorate my current 0_o face!). also, unlike paris hilton and sarah palin, i know better than to let unfortunate pictures or videos of mine get published. what if i miraculously end up famous and then my mongol face comes up and that's the one picture newscasters use to refer to me? like that one really awful picture of sarah palin that jon stewart always brings up whenever he talks about her? nuh uh. but just so you get an idea of the true horror of the situation, here, have a picture of my current MongolEye-treating tools:

from left to right: my buddies the costco roll of oreos, pills from dr. cray-cray, pills from new dr, callie the bottle of calamine lotion, & miss. bumble the purple hairspray bottle

anyway, onto the second thing s-la forgot: prezzies! well, just mine, since she's not getting hers until tuesday (along with her socks, sweatpants, Notey, mix cd, and thank you card...have i mentioned that s-la is the greatest?). they're purple! and scarfy! and hatty! and glovey! and altogether worthy of exclamation points! sadly, they won't be pictured since they're now drying from their first excursion into the snow (it's so deep now - at least we know it won't melt before christmas).

what am i listening to right now? shake, rattle, & roll by elvis.

that's all for now, since it's time to re-icepack my poor MongolEyes before they decide to start swelling again. but before i go, let's all take a moment to bask in this for a moment:

oh, loudoun county public schools, i take back every bad thought and whiny blog i've ever had about you. we have a two week winter break after all!