the clock is ticking forward

warning: the gifs contained in today's post make no sense. at all. proceed ogling soccer players at your own risk. consider this my little birthday present to myself.

today's title comes from bang bang bang by mark ronson. look for a music post tomorrow - i'm too tired right now. 

as you already know, i turned eighteen. it was great. i spent the weekend in a nice, drugged-up haze of sleepiness - the momster says i slept for 63 hours, i disagree - due to the doctor not bothering to look at my drug allergies and prescribing me the wrong thing. oh well. at least i'm well rested. 

the momster and husband number three repeated last year's (and the year before that and the year before that and god, i'm old now) ordeal of showing up at midnight with a cake and candles and horrifically bad singing. this time they included a pint of ben and jerry's cookie dough ice cream. that nine pounds i lost last week? yeah, don't worry, it's all going to come back. after that, i got some more sleep, woke up, and headed back to campus carrying about thirteen thousand pounds of freshly laundered fall/winter clothes. perhaps that's an exaggeration. it was really more like twelve thousand nine hundred and ninety nine pounds of clothes. these distinctions are important, you know. 

i dumped the laundry, my comforter, computer, and new prezzies - highlights include an iPad (dubbed hermione), new uggs (don't judge me, they're comfortable and my old ones never quite recovered from last year's blizzard), and the world's most wonderful coat from anthropoligie. it's red and has silk lining in the sleeves and even came with a hood. it's my favorite. i'll include pictures when i'm less sick and gross.

 

i kind of got an unexpected prezzie, too. when i checked my campus mail today, i found one expected package (a purse, courtesy of vogue/husband number three's magazine subscription contribution to the Give Rachel Free Things Fund) and one that was definitely not. specifically, an extra-small, 2010/2011 germany away jersey customized for thomas muller - which i didn't order. seeing as i've talked soccer with all of you readers, the family, and, like, a handful of people on campus, i figured that the pool of suspected senders would be easily narrowed down. however, it's been twelve hours and i still don't know who it's from. it even came with matching shorts! and the return address is from some business in china, which husband number two said meant that it probably came from ebay. not many people even know that i wanted a muller jersey. i'm very confused. do enlighten me. 

i've been highly unhealthy today. i had tomato soup and a slice of pizza - and then came cake after cake after cookie after chocolate after cake. i had to go to the gym with joanna the hall-e for a couple hours to make up for it. but it was still so worth it. michelle the hall-e made me a cake! it was chocolate with purple icing and tastes delicious. the rest of the circle k board gave me chocolate, too. sometimes predictability comes in handy - a birthday really isn't complete without heaps and heaps of junk food. i'd post pictures, but i'm too tired right now, so check facebook or tomorrow's post. 

the best prezzie by far, though was liverpool's Very Exciting News. the takeover of the club - ridding it of the disgusting parasites that more or less ran it into the ground relegation in three years and placing ownership in the hands of the same people who own the boston red sox - was approved by britain's high court yesterday. now you don't have an excuse not to watch (and i can finally order the new jersey, since i've been waiting for a new kit since fernando torres's first season). 

lauren the hall-e is even getting into the spirit. she's doing a skit for her theatre class. the script is predetermined, and somehow or other she ended up playing a man. while helping her practice her lines after bio this afternoon, we decided that she was a spanish soccer player. so now she's borrowing my fernando torres jersey and joanna's basketball shorts and calling herself antonio ban-torres. well, actually, the first name keeps changing. we've so far reject raul, sergio, and alejandro. my favorite is antonio ban-torres, though, so that's just what i'm going to call her.

after we figured that out, the mr. russell competition in our dorm started up. it was basically a bunch of guys stripping to different music for about an hour to an all-girl judging panel and audience. we actually forgot about it, but two of the hall-es were judges and rounded up the entire female half of the dorm (and kicked out all the non-competing guys) so we didn't really have a choice. it was still a hilarious way to spend the night.

random thought: did anyone catch under wraps playing on the disney channel a few days ago? i recorded it but i haven't actually seen it in years. it got me thinking (and googling) about other disney channel movies. why aren't they as good anymore? like, i watched wish upon a star a few weeks ago and it was still awesome. well, it was a little weird realizing that the older sister was played by katherine heigl sporting some serious 90s hair, but other than that i would totally watch it again.

in conclusion, landon and timmy thank you for your time:

dear all,

as you may know, my birthday is coming up very, very soon. you know what would be a great present? a new immune system. the current one sucks. pumpkin picking, which also turned into apple picking, yesterday was great. today started off great, too, until the immune system decided to die on me again. the momster tried to distract me with shopping in georgetown and cupcakes and tapas and freaking out about how old we're getting. it didn't work. i kind of want to crawl in a hole and die right now, but i'll settle for going to sleep - at nine. nine o'clock. i hate life. to everyone whose plans i've messed up - sorry. and send better my health my way.

p.s. in lieu of new white blood cells, kleenex and needle-repellent skin will do. i'm getting blood drawn tomorrow morning, and we all know how i deal with doctors.

praise the lawd

cutie and the followills are back. the new album releases on october 18, just five little days after my (18th!) birthday. best prezzie ever? i think so.

anyway, they have a new music video. watch it.

shine when the sunset shifts

today's title is, once again, from tv on the radio's wolf like me. if you haven't listened to it yet (or heard it before - like i said before: it's old) scroll down and hit play. i'm four winds in love with it right now.

so gina tagged me in the little ha, little, i love you, gina, the way to my heart and bloggy affections is through shiny things and flattery award above (and i, being highly susceptible to flattery, am all sorts of pleased) so i'm going to go ahead and use this as an excuse to talk about my shopping adventures.

i headed out after the interviews (which seemed to go well, except for the part where the manager at guess asked my age at the end and then told me that she would hire me but would have to wait til i'm 18...when i'll be at college. which sucks. but if i need a job next summer i guess i know where to go) to do some graduation present shopping for myself. i picked up a few things for other people, don't worry, but the real highlights of my trip were these:

i got a few other things, too, like a black romper and a green shirt (for ten dollars! ten! at banana republic!) but they're in the washer so i can wear them this week. oh, and then i went to tyson's with the momster. be proud, everyone. i went to free people and bought something for another person who better be damn grateful or i will cut her.

now that i've shared my materialistic joy with everyone, time to follow the rules of the award:

so, five random facts about rachel:

1. all of my electronics have names. my first laptop was named dorothy parker, dot for short. this one is named compy. my ipod is ophelia and my phone is eve. i'm not sure why i always name things, but i think it has something to do with being an only child.
2. when in doubt, i blame my parents for everything. see fact #1. 
3. i worry all the time and about the most random things. i guess i think too much. like, it's impossible for me to get to sleep until i'm dead tired because my brain just won't shut off. 
4. i reread all my favorite children's book series at least once a year. it's all the basics: anne of green gables, betsy-tacy, harry potter, narnia, lord of the rings, and madeleine l'engle's books. 
5. i've had this bracelet since i was a baby. back then it was so big i could wear it around my neck as a necklace. the momster told me that i would grow into it but i still have to fasten it between the zebra and the elephant:

looking at that list, it's very obvious that i'm a pretty boring person. oh well. maybe in my next life i'll be Dramatic and Mysterious. of course, if reincarnation is real i'll probably end up as a cockroach in my next life for all the horrible things i've done (or plan to do, let's be realistic here) but cockroaches can be Dramatic and Mysterious, too. 

now i get to tag 5 bloggers for the award. oh boy! 

1. dulce candy and euchante tv. hell, i'll throw in the stylish wanderer, too, even though everyone already follows her. they're all actual fashion bloggers, so i don't think they need too much explanation. 
2. high kicks and high hopes. this is the blog of one of the radio city rockettes who i found - shameful as this is to admit - during the Dark Days of Yore when i was obsessed with panic! at the disco and the guitarist she was dating. since then she and said guitarist broke up...and then the guitarist broke up with his band...and my stalking activities are sadly curtailed. i still follow her for her interesting posts. it's not a fashion-centric blog but some of her posts are and her style is great.
3. the sassy curmudgeon. i found this blog via jenibean. it's great - she's snarky, looks up to carrie bradshaw as we all should and has great clothes.  
4. last and very definitely least since she is the worst blogger in the world and never updates is The Bean herself. jenibean has fun (albeit overwhelmingly black) clothes, but she's been branching out since the Dark Days of A Little Bit After Yore But Not Yet The Present and buying things with actual colors and patterns. sometimes she even cleans her closet. 

by the way, i finished reading john adams. it was really good. i still have half of that writing post i mentioned a few days ago saved in my drafts, so maybe i'll tack on a review and put it up later. i'm probably going to save it for another day, though. it has actual thinky thoughts in it and i want to do them justice. 

here's what i've been listening to a lot today:

i want it all

...but perhaps not right now. nevertheless, here's the top three things i've been drooling over, brought to you via the intertubes.

1. remember my kitty fixation? it's back:

2. this scale:

3. a new cam cam

in less greedy news, i'm listening to believing is art by spoon. i just finished watching viva las vegas - it was elvis day on tcm. i remembered to record speedway but not blue hawaii and the momster was the one who recorded viva las vegas for me. oh well, at least i've still got another hour and a half or so of elvis to look forward to tomorrow.

random thought: ann-margret's wardrobe in viva las vegas makes me want to go shopping. i'm feeling the urge for a-line skirts and sleeveless dresses. i think i'm going to add a 'vintage/thrift store shopping buddy' to the list of friends i need to make. he/she (it can be a he! that way i'd be getting a gay bff and a vintage shopping buddy all in one go...two birds, one stone, etc.) might even be higher than the indie music buddy, since i'm getting pretty good at finding stuff in the interwebs - helped in large part by after the show and the 405 - but not so good at going to thrift stores by myself.

hmm, that's all for now. i guess i'll go back to writing.

and so a cult was born

what's on the ipod right now? daniel by bat for lashes.

so it's been a fun few days. meggo, jenibean, s-la, and i made our gingerbread...pyramid. it was amazing and infinitely better than that silly kit s-la and i assembled. i blame costco for clouding her mind with happy waves and distracting her into buying it. highlights from this year include kanye woods (a tiger/kanye hybrid gingerbread man), balloon boy stranded atop an obelisk, blink-182 in chocolate santa form, jon & kate plus 8, the hatter from syfy's remake of alice, b!, beat up pete wentz, and the mistresses/cheating girlfriends of the year. oh, and lots and lots of twizzler guts. s-la took some nice pictures of them on her handy dandy (hot pink!) new camera, but some of the pictures are ooh-la-la scandalous, so they're going to have to stay in their secret corner of the internet.

(speaking of secret corners of the internet, this just made me laugh)

the sleepover at meggos was fun. i saw all, like, four hours of alice finally and it was amazing. even if alice had an unusually manly voice. i hope the burton version's going to be just as good (if not better), even if there won't be any pretty people on screen. i managed to stay up until 4:30 - jenibean and meggo were up even later, those crazies, but s-la gave up and abandoned us around 2. we woke up around ten, i think. whatever time it was, it was hideously early, but once i was awake i just couldn't go back to sleep. don't you just hate when that happens? oh, and once again i left things at meggo's - my boots (purposeful; and i have her black flats, they're comfy) and my jacket (very, very accidental). hopefully i'll pick them up wednesday since a little birdie named phoney told me meggo's planning to wear el booties on tuesday.

luckily frank stopped by this afternoon to drop off round two of my christmas prezzies - including a poufy purple jacket and matching scarf! in other words, i am no longer likely to die of pneumonia this week.

after that i did some laundry, took a shower, and power napped until like eight o'clock. it's been a pretty epic day, i think. oh, and i had a dream!

i was standing on an empty road in the country in the new dress i got at nordstrom (why, yes, i did finish my christmas shopping on december 28th, so what?) and out of nowhere a giant ipod on legs appeared. it wasn't a very graceful ipod, either. it's legs were all long and thin and gangly and it seemed kind of bow-legged; it wobbled as it walked toward me. and then it stopped, folded its legs up, and sat down so that it looked like a giant ipod standing on the ground (without visible legs).

and then the ipod speaks. it's got a voice kind of like morgan freeman. it told me to go forth and give people scarves. except for homeless people because it seems like all they have is scarves, so they should get real clothes. and then it told me to wear my hair in princess leia buns. and that my microwave was going to explode on january 1, 2012. oh, and then it promised me that if i followed its directives the sky would rain itunes gift cards that day. after that it did a funny full-body ipod wiggle thing that i just sort of knew was its version of a bow and told me to spread the message to the masses. i wonder if this is how cults begin?

and then i woke up, finally updated the apps on my phone, and downloaded tap tap revenge 3. you...probably don't want to know how long i spent playing that. it's a shamefully large number of hours, though.

hmm, i'm tired. just added new (old) songs to the playlist. stay tuned - whenever i wake up tomorrow i'll post pictures of the new dresses and meggo and s-la's prezzies. but not jenibean's because i ate it already.

home(ward bound was the greatest movie of all time)

so i haven't blogged much this week. christmas was great - santa was generous this year. saw the rockettes, too, which was amazing - we nearly didn't, since our tickets were for last weekend and we were still snowed in here, but there was a cancellation for the last show on christmas eve and we got to exchange them. saw alvin and the chipmunks: the squeaquel, too. it was adorable. and the single ladies chipmunk dance was just as cute as i hoped it would be.

i'll spare you a long list of prezzies, but the highlights this year were guitar hero (5! with the rock show and sex on fire!), the wii fit, a new acoustic, purple legwarmers, and two snuggies. two. although, in the interest of full disclosure, i will confess that the reason i received those snuggies is because i added a p.s. to my mother's/aunt's email of planniness earlier this month to the effect of: IF I DON'T GET A SNUGGIE I WILL CUT SOMEONE. HAPPY HOLIDAYS! in more or less those exact words. don't judge me - i got them good gifts, too, okay? and if they hadn't been warned ahead of time, i would've just had to exchange their presents for snuggies anyway. so there. the best prezzie of all though? was a fuzzy purple blankie of unparalleled fluffiness. it's keeping me company right now. i think i'll bring it to meggo's on monday for the gingerbread pyramidding/guitar hero-playing/alice-watching day of doom.

since christmas is over, the regular bloggy playlist is back. aren't you excited? my current song of the moment is black & gold by sam sparro. it was hard to find a good version of that for the blog playlist, though, so you get katy perry's version instead.

we're headed to dinner since we don't actually have groceries. will blog something real later. i hope you all had a great christmas!

good work, snowstorm. i always knew i could count on you.

before i say anything else, let's just take a moment to appreciate this:

hmm, so the many (mis)adventures of r-wa & s-la can be read here, accompanied by pictures, s-la's commentary, and happy christmas music. and since this is clearly going to be the first blog of many this weekend, i won't bother to give my own version of events, except to elaborate on the two things she skipped.

the first is, of course, the MongolEyes. at first i thought i'd suddenly developed an allergy to cats which, as you all know, would've been disastrous, given my kitty-owning, lol-cat-making aspirations. however, further reflection revealed that that was highly unlikely since i've never been allergic to her cats before and if i was allergic to them than i wouldn't stil have giant, puffy, mongol-approved red eyes right now.

oh, and in case you're wondering, the Mongol reference comes from this movie. i couldn't find the clip online because people just don't appreciate baby genghis khan the way s and i do, but when little genghis/temudjin is picking out his wife, his father advises him not to get one with really big eyes since that's how the demons could fly into her mind.

needless to say, the demons won't be flying into my head anytime soon. i'd post pictures but even my mother won't stop laughing about them (she wants to make a snowman with 0_o face to commemorate my current 0_o face!). also, unlike paris hilton and sarah palin, i know better than to let unfortunate pictures or videos of mine get published. what if i miraculously end up famous and then my mongol face comes up and that's the one picture newscasters use to refer to me? like that one really awful picture of sarah palin that jon stewart always brings up whenever he talks about her? nuh uh. but just so you get an idea of the true horror of the situation, here, have a picture of my current MongolEye-treating tools:

from left to right: my buddies the costco roll of oreos, pills from dr. cray-cray, pills from new dr, callie the bottle of calamine lotion, & miss. bumble the purple hairspray bottle

anyway, onto the second thing s-la forgot: prezzies! well, just mine, since she's not getting hers until tuesday (along with her socks, sweatpants, Notey, mix cd, and thank you card...have i mentioned that s-la is the greatest?). they're purple! and scarfy! and hatty! and glovey! and altogether worthy of exclamation points! sadly, they won't be pictured since they're now drying from their first excursion into the snow (it's so deep now - at least we know it won't melt before christmas).

what am i listening to right now? shake, rattle, & roll by elvis.

that's all for now, since it's time to re-icepack my poor MongolEyes before they decide to start swelling again. but before i go, let's all take a moment to bask in this for a moment:

oh, loudoun county public schools, i take back every bad thought and whiny blog i've ever had about you. we have a two week winter break after all!