"you stayed out till 10:30 to see that croissant movie? i thought you were doing drugs or something."
the madre, circa ten minutes ago
tonight i went to see the croissant movie (idk, it's my mother, okay, she has strange names for things).
the good:
- taycob is still pretty. and muscley.
- the ab pack (see above, re: pretty and muscley)
- the soundtrack
- bella's "i'm in labor. no, really" screaming fits. you can just tell kstew is practicing for breaking dawn.
- new director doesn't believe in blue filters. you go, new director coco.
- alice.
- alice's wardrobe.
- jasper. his funny faces and accent would be so great given screen time.
- basically every non-bella-shaped human. seriously, for all that they're given, like, a cumulative three and a half minutes of screen time, they all come across as totally awesome. i think tyra would approve. it's probably because they "smile with their eyes"
- speaking of humans, the ones in the audience weren't so bad. there was one annoying girl with her phone out, but steffi got her with a mini-reese's wrapper, so that was okay. and we had a little boy yelling out things like "oh my god, it's just a movie!" and "kiss already!" (for the jacob and bella scenes) in our row. he was adorable. and also provided me with entertainment of the "s-la is a pedo" variety when she yelled back "i love you, little boy!" (after the first statement).
the bad:
- rpattz. his makeup is awful, and they only bothered to cgi his abs on for the one scene. during the rest of his shirtless stint in the movie it was all scraggly chest hairs and flab and paleness, oh my!
- bella. normally she would've topped this list, but in her scenes with jacob she managed to enunciate, finish sentences, show flickers of personality, and finally stop blinking so much. also, the screaming really was endlessly entertaining.
- edward and bella. their scenes together were not only painfully awkward but aesthetically disappointing after nearly an hour of the ab pack. also, in edward's presence, kstew turns on her incessant blinking switch again.
- jasper has two lines. two! travesty much?
all in all, not as bad as i was expecting. it definitely didn't produce the hilarity twilight did. and it gave us the ab pack, so i'm pretty happy.
also, it gave me an excuse for a g.n.o. there were five of us at first, then i convinced jeni to crash. mostly it was an excuse to binge. we worked our way through almost two bags of mini-reeses, dinner at california tortilla, and dessert at johnny rockets. i'm thinking that makes this night a win.
and in honor of the movie (and because i'm too tired to actually have music on...i think i'm going to sleep soon, actually. yeah, i know, i'm a rebel), here's the song of the day:
